R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "The Tooth Fairy"

R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "What's New?"

     Did you know that at one time - somewhere in the 1800s, I believe it was - the American Patent Office was considering closing because officials thought "everything that can be invented HAS been invented"?
     In retrospect now, that is so laughable.   
     Anyone who writes usually reads a lot and that includes me. Previously I have used this blog column to announce some of the wonders still being invented by industrious, innovational people. I'd like to, in this column, bring a few more of the more outstanding things, both big and small in world import, that maybe haven't gotten enough attention.

1. We read about used plastic materials clogging our oceans, rivers and garbage dumps, but now a company called By Fusion has found a way to make used plastic bricks for construction. (Fast Company Magazine)

2. Millions of couples struggle to have children and fail - poor egg quality, uterus disorder, weak swimming sperm, etc - but now we have "spermbot", a tiny, corkscrew-shaped motor designed to drive lethargic sperm to their targets. It wraps around the sperm's tail, then propels it into the egg. The Atlanta Center for Reproductive Medicine has tested it on bovine sperm and eggs, but hasn't achieved successful fertilization as yet. (Fast Company Magazine, October 2016)

3, British researchers suggest gum chewing may improve a variety of cognitive functions, including memory, alertness, and attention, as well as enhance performance on intelligence and math tests.(Reader's Digest October 2016).

4. Google Cardboard has come up with a low-cost and trouble-free app teachers should love. It  takes students on virtual reality field trips. It's Expedition Tool offers 200 virtual reality trips.
(Lewiston, ID, Tribune).

5. Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and the University of Maryland have built a robot clam that out-digs any other digging machine on the market tenfold. The prototype is only 4 to 8 inches long, but performed so well the team is now building a larger version.
     They studied the razor clam and found it digs so quickly by "fluidizing" the sand it's digging into, making it act like a fluid rather than a solid. It does this by contracting its body and sort of sucking in, creating a vacuum, causing the sand to become unstable and start moving.
     It could prove invaluable as low-energy anchors or as an environmentally safe way to lay down more intercontinental undersea fiber optic cable. (Los Angeles Times April 2, 2014)

6. Populations in the 20 most peaceful countries total less than 500 million, whereas 2.3 billion people live in the world's least peaceful countries. So, out of the total world 's population of 7.3 billion, there are nearly three times as many people living in the 20 least peaceful countries than in the 20 most peaceful.
     Of the 10 most peaceful countries, all are stable democracies. And, countries surrounded by other peaceful countries are more likely to experience high levels of peace. (Christian Science Monitor Oct. 12, 2015)

7. Dutch researchers discovered wearing sox to bed improves sex! They had 13 couples lay with their heads in a scanner while their partners "excited" them. They found about half the women couldn't climax because their feet were cold. When they doled out sox to increase subjects' body temperatures 80 % reached orgasm. (Reader's Digest Oct. 2016)

R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "Stink Pink (Continued)"

      Last column explained an old word game that tested one's vocabulary called Stink Pink. One person would present a (hopefully) humorous deftnition, plus the number of syllables in the two rhyming words being sought. It was a mad fad for a time with even newspaper columnists and comic section cartoonists being drawn into it.
     That column seems to have resonated with some of my senior friends who remembered it and started playing it at the local senior center. They have come up with such a plethora of rhymings as to amaze and amuse me that I'm passing them on to you readers.

One-syllable matchings:
Ex-lax = purge urge
Urge to do something = slim whim
A hospital's first-aid kit = nurse purse  
Dog house = mutt hut
Crying twin babies = scream team
Duck dinner = quack snack
Handsome couple dressed for a formal = Slick chick and sleek sheik
Smart conversation rejoinder = hip quip
The first Bikini = Eve's leaves
Dumb seller of stolen goods = dense fence
Medieval land grab = fief thief
Rainy-day taxi shortage = hack lack
Monarch's jewelry = king's rings
Preparation for a foul dinner = chicken pickin'
Fish story = reel spiel
Fancy chandelier = class glass
Lady Godiva on a bender = stewed nude
Spanking = seat heat
cemetery = bone zone
wrinkles = age gauge
Tabloid = smash trash

Two-syllable matchings:
Pet cat needing a combing = shabby tabby
Result of a rap contest = lipping whipping
Un-hip mother = dummy mummy
Relative who is always phoning = buzzin' cousin
African drum = Congo bongo
Sunburned aspiring actress = scarlet starlet
Shortest distance between two antagonistic cats = feline beeline
Cracked-up skier = aching breaking
Person asking to be kissed = smoocher moocher
Pedestrian crossing a busy street = bumper jumper
Church-run shellfish business = oyster cloister
Protectors of the universe = global nobles
Beautiful but sad female = wryful eyeful
Male turned female = gender bender
Sunday church activity = sermon squirmin'
Eye doctor = winker tinker
Stomach specialist = gizzard wizard
Hash = griddle riddle
Baby sitter = yelper helper

Three-syllable matchings:
Seamstress doing fancy work = stitchery witchery
Raffish man-of-the-cloth = sinister minister
Zoo worker who takes care of red birds with black wings = Tanager manager
Super-powered slingshot = fantastic elastic
Horse that pulled a wrecked farm vehicle out of a bog = ex-tractor extractor

Four-syllable matchings:
Middle-Eastern fruit vendor's establishment = Afghanistan banana-stand
New York whiskey storage vault = Knickerbocker liquor-locker

R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: Remember "Stink Pink"?

     I was telling a friend recently about the young man, eyes on his iPhone, unaware of all else around him, who came within one horn toot on my part of walking smack-dab into the side of my moving car. This led to some memory gathering about other just-as-silly fads we remembered. 
     There was the "Knock-Knock" fad: "Knock knock", "Who's there?" "Greta." "Greta who?" (punchline) "Greta life, you lazy bum!"
     And there was the "Handies" fad, where, for instance, you stuck a finger in your mouth, revolved your other hand around your ear clockwise, and everyone was supposed to guess you were pantomiming a pencil sharpener.
     And there was my favorite, called "Stink Pink". 
    These were great ice breakers at parties. You know, where everyone is sitting around making friendly noises at each other while they sniff breaths to see who has the booze at the party! With these, strangers at a party didn't need a common bond to converse on. The games established one. Conversation wasn't needed. While sipping, or chewing, everyone hatched clever Stink Pinks to share. Even if someone came up empty, he or she would usually have imbibed enough drink so the ice would be broken anyhow. So it seemed a sure-fire method for mixing up the participants.
     Let me explain how the game worked. The first step was to think up a set of two rhyming words - an adjective and a noun or pronoun - like "Zestful chestfull". This you kept to yourself, since it was to be the ultimate answer the others were to guess from the clues you furnish them.
     To the gathering you give hints in two parts: (1) a (preferably funny) dictionary-type deftnition of your rhyming words (which must, incidentally, be the same length) and (2) the number of syllables in your chosen words. Stink Pink = one syllable, stinky pinky = two, stinkity pinkity = three, and for every added syllable add in another "it". Example: "Actress with a more-so torso, stinky pinky". The answer:"zestfull chestfull".
     If anyone comes up with a word set of more than four syllables they should be classed as genius, above the hoi-polio, and should be down in the village drinking Scotch with the intellectuals, not playing silly word games at our party, where no one would guess the damn thing anyhow. Two examples did surface at our games - ineffectual intellectual and comprehensible reprehensible - and, as expected, they stumped our partiers completely. The perpetrator, it turned out, had browsed the dictionary for a week to come up with them.
     In the eventuality this game intrigues anyone enough to try, here is a set of sample Stink Pinks we brain-stormed for you.

What is a burlesk stripper on the bumps-and-brinds circuit called, stink-pink?
What is a municipal jester, stink-pink?
What would a happy father be, stink-pink and stinky-pinky??
What is a desert song, stink-pionk?
What is a censosr's most used article of equipment, stinky-pinky?
What is a baby with a lack of social responsibility, stinky-pinky?
What is a gal with the moaning after the night before, stinky-pinky?
What is a honey-dipped lieutenant junior-grade, stinky-pinky?
What is the luscious fruit growing around a sandy clime, stink-pink?
What is swimming in a sewer, stinky-pinky?
What is a beautifu, but dumb,  gal with "identical" charms, stinky-pinky?
What is lettuce cut up without dressing, stinky-pinky?
What is a skinny spook, stink-pink?
What's an African cat caretaker known as, stinky-pinky?
What are French post cards, stinkitity-pinkitity?


ANSWERS:
Lewd Nude
Town Clown
Glad Dad, Happy Pappy
Dune Tune
Quizzer's Scissors
Piddling Kidling
Blearie Dearie
Gooey Looey
Beach Peach
Muciing Ducking
Simple Dimples
Daring Paring
Gaunt Haunt
Leopard Shepherd
Pornography Photography

     This game even made it into a popular Sunday section newspaper column of this earlier era, titled Charlie Rice's Punchbowl. He called it "Hink-Pink". He did a column and invited readership send-ins and was inundated with 3,000 responses.

     This game was actually so widespread that a comic strip titled "On Stage", by Leonard Starr, featured it one Sunday. He called it the Rhymie-Stymie game, though, and came up with such stunning rhyming sets as unilateral collateral (one-sided security), enigmatical sabbatical (puzzling vacation), endemic polymic (localized controversy), lexiphanic mechanic (phrase-mongering machinist), abecedarian parliamentaraian (novice statesman)

R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "Fool's Names Like Fool's Faces..."

     "Fool's names like fool's faces are always seen in public places!" was a comment always forthcoming from my grandmother upon seeing any public place defiled with the "tag" of some graffiti "artist".
     I, on the other hand, have rather enjoyed the other side of the on-going graffiti defacing war, the humor notes they invite from graffiti observers, like the sign found on a backstage wall at our local amateur theater building when the building was inspected and found unsafe: "Please don't write your name on the walls. If you're good enough, we'll remember you."
     A similar request was penned on a freshly painted classroom wall at the local college: "This is a partition, not a petition. No signatures required."
     One of my all-time favorite graffiti-stoppers, though, was posted above a urinal in the men's room at a country store in Texas. It read, "Please note: The same fingers that remove the cigarette butts from this urinal are the ones that fix our hamburgers," The urinal was butt free!
     Good advice goes right along with some nice philosophy in the world of graffiti. For instance, this appeared on the wall of a café in Austin, Tx: "Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once." Pretty impressive thoughts to come out of a sojurn in a toilet!
     Another worldly bit I have long remembered, but forgotten the source, is "Be yourself. Who else is better qualified?"
     Sometimes bulletin board notices end up as second-hand humorous graffiti. "Will the thief who stole my jacket please return it?" was one such notice. Then it was addended the next day with "I found your jacket and intended to return it. But I don't like being called a thief! So I gave it to the Salvation Army." Cause and effect are not always in sync!
     A similarly unexpected rejoinder was noted in an industrial building corridor filled with colorful posters bearing slogans intended to inspire employees. Under the exhortation "You Can - If You Will!" someone had amended, "You're Canned If You Won't!"
      Office copy machines, I've noted, usually have an often necessary sign on them stating something like, "For problems, call extension 233". Just as often, the office wit will have added a comment. One I saw, for-example, read, 'No thanks - I have plenty of my own!" A lot of us recognize the feeling behind that!
    

R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "Flying Our Colors Correctly"

    When the Olympics year is upon us again and some 150 national flags will fly in procession with our Stars and Stripes at the Games, it should behoove us Americans to learn a bit about vexillology.
     Did the word stop  your eye? It should. It's relatively new and unused. It's the study of flags, according to Dr. Whitney Smith, who should know, since he created the word in 1975 from  the Latin vexillum, meaning "military standard".
     Dr. Smith has written at least nine books while pursuing s special interest in vexillology, including having his hand in on compiling the mammoth research tome "Flags Through the Ages and Across the World" (McGraw-Hill).
      Beyond the history of flags are the regulations each country lists for the display of its flag.
     The U.S. has an entire Flag Code, which I included in my book The United States Flagbook, published by McFarland Press in 1996.  Unfortunately, time, public ignorance and/or apathy toward the code and new material products have left this Code badly in need of revisions. (I spent five years researching everything about the flag and, after the book was published, wrote a letter to then-President Bill Clinton offering to take on a revision job, gratis. Never heard back.
     The parts of the Code most often ignored are: (1) having the blue field always on its own right facing out (from a wall or a window or whatever, (2) taking the flag down at dusk and as specified in inclement weather, (3) displaying two or more American flags together, (4) always displaying it to the right or above any other type flags on display, and (5) wearing it in any way. 
     We should be proud enough of our country to take a little time and learn more about our Stars and Stripes, don't you think?
    

R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "The Hidden Meanings Behind Salesmens' Spiels"

     At my advanced age I have heard just about every type of salesman's spiel they've been able to think up. They've made me a pessimist.
     Start with financial advisors. A financial editor of the New York Journal American once defined a "Policy" as "a common substitute for good judgment". A "calculated risk" was "crap shooting on a corporate level". A "well-rounded program" was "an excuse for running off in all directions". An "attitude of watchful waiting" was "a dignified way of doing nothing".
     Vacation folders have a jargon all their own too. When you read "conducive to complete relaxation", you will ultimately find out the place is "dead". "A charming atmosphere of rustic simplicity" will probably be found to mean "no inside plumbing". "Bathing nearby" really means "no swimming pool". "25 seasons under the same management" may be only a warning that they haven't been able to sell the place.
     If you plan to attend a concert, beware of hidden meanings also. If the box office reports "Plenty of tickers", it may really have plenty, just not for the days you want. If they advertise "Orchestra seats - Close to stage" you may have to play an instrument to sit there.
     And, how could I leave out auto service department dialogue? Here are some of the standard excuses you may hear there:

"They all do that!" (The real meaning is more like, "We've never seen this problem before and we don't know the cause of it, but we think you'll feel better if you think you're not the only one.")

"We're waiting for a part." ("We may have ordered the wrong part and now the computer is down and we can't remember what we needed in the first place.")

"We're test driving it right now." ("The guys have driven your car to a bar for lunch and will be back in an hour or so.")

"There is some additional work we'd recommend." ("The test drive back from the bar resulted in a cracked muffler and a broken rearview mirror, which we have already replaced, but which we want you to pay for.")

     Television folk have their own sales jargon as well.

"A Meaningful Drama" may be any program about grubby people in trouble, which has a sad ending.

"A Public Service Program" is probably a cultural or news show that attracts little sponsor interest, receives bad ratings, but often has good critical reports.

"Controversial content" may be any subject which has conflicting points of view so its treatment is bound to result in a flurry of complaints, especially in Washington, DC.

"Adult entertainment" is usually a talky show which features once-forbidden topics, cussing and off-color jokes.

"Family entertainment" leaves little to include but kid shows moved to prime time.

"Children's Programming" isn't much more than advertising for toys, candy and peanut butter.

"Mature Viewers" are pretty forgotten by sponsors unless they manufacture a denture cleanser or pain reliever.

     No wonder I'm a pessimist. The only wonder is that there aren't more of us!



























    

R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "Candid Cameos"

     Was doing some masticatin' the muslin with a buddy recently  which got out of hand and turned  silly, but I thought I'd share some of it, anyhow, since it's been a slow day.

I love to watch:
                              two frugal friends trying to out-fumble each other for the bar tab, since I'd already paid for the previous round.
                              a smooooth operator striking out with a girl everybody has dated.
                              well-tanned and turned legs in flaring mini-skirts. Much more intriguing than the same tanned legs in a bikini, for some odd reason!
                              the unbelievable gyrations of good hip-hop dancers.
                              the self-satisfied look of a girl who is sure every man in the place is watching her take off her coat.
                             the mailman holding back the questions he is dying to ask abaout the unusual mail I'm getting lately.

I hate to see:  
                             that look of unbelief in a woman's eyes when I'm lying to her.
                             TV testimonials by inarticulate millionaire athletes.
                             men's room attendants. As if I haven't been doing everything there without their help all my life!
                             the bottom of a choice bottle, which I may not be able to replace.
                             teen agers driving cars years better than mine.
                             big men, or women, named "Tiny". Is that really funny?
                             Dear John letters to anyone. Aren't our lives beset by enough problems without getting punched in the heart?

I am sympathetic with:
                             a friend's expensive tastes and beer income.
                             the look of panic on the face of anyone with too many belts under their belt to keep them down.
                             anyone's struggle between boredom and politeness.
                             the results of anyone taking portrait selfies in a camera booth.
                             presidential candidates who don't know the meaning of "presidential".
                             anyone trying their first "chaw" of tobacco and no one told them not to swallow.
                             everyone...and, boy, do I hear a lot of troubles!

I'd like to forget:
                            trying to impress a date with  her ex boyfriend sitting two tables over.
                            those moaning-afters when I get up looking just like my driver's license photo.
                            the erstwhile "friend" who set me up with a blind date with his girl friend's definitely desirable friend from out of town, only to find she's pregnant, divorced and looking for a new "daddy".(Set 'em up, bartender. That leads to serious forgetfulness.)
                             

August 13 is Left-Handed Day

     What if you spent every day in a backward world, with everything working against you? Zipper pulls were on the wrong side of your jeans, shirts and jackets buttoned the wrong way, knives were sharpened on the wrong side for cutting, pots and pans had their spouts on the wrong sides, doorknobs and corkscrews turned the wrong way, gear shift levers were on the wrong side of the car, and so on all day, every day? That's how left-handed people live their lives.
     From the time they are old enough to listen, left-handers - an estimated one-tenth of the world's population - have had it drilled into them that left-handedness is wrong. Even worse, many have been told it is inferior. That may go clear back to the days of the ancient Romans when it was common thought that lefties were immoral. According to studies in the U.S. in more recent years, it was reported lefties lived nine years less than righties, were three times more likely to suffer immune disorders, were more likely to become alcoholics and to go insane. In rebuttal, one jokester noted that "since the right side of the brain governs the left side of the body, then left-handed persons are the only ones in their right minds!"
     In spite of all this negativity, it hasn't bothered seven men who wanted to be President of the U.S. That group includes Herbert Hoover, Harry Truman, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. James Garfield might be added. He was, in fact, ambidextrous, able to write different languages with each hand simultaneously.
     In American schools, for many years of my youth, penmanship teachers tried to force children with a leftie disposition to write right, usually with the blessing of the parents. It was a problem because penmanship teachers didn't know how to teach lefties. I never saw a left-handed penmanship teacher.
    Changing was for their own good, because from then on they were going to face a predominantly right-handed world. Even the school desks were made for right-handed writers then. I watched the lefties write with their hands "hooked" almost upside-down over the lines they wrote. In order to see what they were writing and to avoid dragging their hands across their writing, they had to be contortionists.
     Only in fairly recent years have lefties been able to find baseball gloves or golf clubs. Scissors were very difficult to use. Wristwatches had to be worn upside-down Playing cards were printed so they couldn't be read when fanned in the right hand. Left-handed violinists or guitar players had to re-string their instruments to play and left-handed saxophonists didn't exist. Even gum wrappers were hard to open for lefties.
     Job hunting had its drawbacks for lefties too. Tools of the trades in every type job from lathe operator to cashier, from dentist to bookkeeper were made backwards for lefties. Using a typical power saw was an invitation to become a righty permanently!
     There are several reasons why this became a right-handed world. Family genes is one. A study of 5,000 left-handers found that, if your mother was left-handed, even if your father was not, you would probably be a leftie. But, beyond that, human culture itself is to blame: warfare, etiquette, religion and superstition and the aforementioned education.
     From the days of the Roman legions that conquered the world as they knew it, warfare has played a big part. Armor and arms were made for right-handed use. Customs grew up whereby clasping right arms (gradually evolving into the handshake) and placing an honored guest to a person's right showed trust and friendship, since the right was the defense arm and such show made a person vulnerable to attack. Later the bolt-action rifle was a lefty's nightmare, so that all World War II soldiers were required to shoot right-handed, even if proved they couldn't hit the broad side of a barn that way.
     The Greek language is filled with words, which have been passed on to us, denigrating the left. Ancient religion and superstition were often tied to the sun's movement. Thus, the right, or movement to the right, became good and Godly while the opposite automatically became bad. The word "left" in Old English meant "weak", in German meant "awkward".
     In Muslim countries the right hand has been used for centuries as the pot-dipping or feeding hand, while the left has been used exclusively for cleaning oneself at the toilet. A left-hander could thus commit a grievous breach of etiquette without knowing it, if the Arab culture wasn't understood.
     In more recent years some counties - the U.S., Great Britain and Japan, for instances - have started doing something about this plight of our most unrecognized and misunderstood minority. In the U.S. there is a Left Handers International, located in Topeka, KS, which promotes an annual convention and will mail a glossy publication, that includes a catalog of items for lefties, and printed articles on topics like the biological origins of left-handedness. There is also a League of Left Handers and an International Left Handers Society. Japan has a left-hander's league with about 1500 members.
     Being a leftie is no longer considered an aberration, but a specialized sales market. One of the early best-known markets was Aristers Company of Westport, CT. They handled such erotic ware as backward-running watches, booklets for left-handed needlecraft and calligraphy, and T-shirts that read "Leftys do it better!" Other early specialty shops in the U.S. included Left-Handed Complements in Jamaica Plains, MA; Left-Handed Solutions in New York; Left Hand World in San Francisco, Lefties Corner in Indiana, The Southpaw Shoppe in San Diego and Southpaw Unlimited in Rochester, NY. One of the earliest to see this need, in 1967, was a London shop called Anything Left-Handed, which a left-handed married couple opened.
     Some bright teachers have shown that left-writers can turn their papers parallel to their arms to uncramp them. This led to more utilitarian school desks and to a host of writing materials - notebooks, fast-drying inks, rulers with reversed reading measurements, T-squares, address books and even checkbooks.
     Schools, like the University of Washington, changed its dentistry school lab so equipment was usable for both left and right-handed workers. Fast food palace Burger King announced a left-handed Whopper, and had a big call for it, until it turned out to be an April Fool prank (in 1996).
     Noting all this improvement in their lives, leftys might well give a cheer, "Left on!"







    











    
    

American Declaration of Independence - Aftermath

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56

men  who signed the Declaration of Independence?

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors,

and tortured before they died.

Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.

Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army;

another had two sons captured.

Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or

hardships of the Revolutionary War.

They signed and they pledged their lives, their

fortunes, and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they?

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists.

Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and

large plantation owners; men of means, well-educated,

but they signed the Declaration of Independence

knowing full well that the penalty would be death if

they were captured.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and

trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by

the British Navy. He sold his home and

properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British

that he was forced to move his family almost

constantly.  He served in the Congress without pay,

and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions

were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall,

Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and

Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson,Jr., noted that

the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson

home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General

George Washington to open fire. The home was

destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed.

The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was

dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his

gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in

forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his

children vanished.

 

We thank these early patriots,

as well as those patriots now fighting to KEEP our freedom!

 

F. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN; "A Look at the Cool Sites We've Lost On the Internet""

      I love browsing in used book stores because I often come across a tome that is intriguing enough for a column. Such was the case when I recently found a copy of "Cyber Hound's Internet Guide to the Coolest Stuff Out There", printed by a company called Visible Ink Press, a division of Gale Research, Inc. Gale, for many years, has specialized in printing reference books for libraries.
     Though this was printed in 1996, which is not long ago in human life years, practically everything I Googled from it has disappeared. The book is composed of 364 pages of then-current websites, showing how fast the Internet chews up and spits out the ideas and imaginations of us submittors. What a shame we will no longer be able to browse and learn from such sites as these:

Aaron A. Aardvark's Aardvark Abstract, which was a computer graphics video gallery featuring, among other things, a comic strip starring an aardvark and a nerdy turtle.

Angelnet, aimed at the inherent flower child in each of us, featured angels, yoga, dolphins, mages and music; a labyrinth to explore; meditation guides and angel water for sale; stories of angelic encounters, even an interactive poem.

Art Crimes' goal was "to help preserve and document the constantly disappearing works of the graffiti art movement." It included a graffiti FAQ, glossary, and bibliography; graffiti-related magazines and videos, tips for photographing graffiti, scanning images for use on the Web, and transferring images using FTP, critical reviews of graffiti literature, essays and calendars of graffiti art shows and events.

Ask Puddy was a cat who answered your questions about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness on business, medicine and affairs of the heart.

The Asylum, submitted by someone in Cal Tech's education department, offered a gallery of peg-light art, a scratch pad they could draw on, an interactive "fiction therapy" salon, a cuckoo clock (with sound), a mascot that could be fed or smushed, a "core dump" of useless stuff. and a chance to immortalize oneself among the ranks of The Asylum's inmates.

 Avenger's Front Page was where one could find revenge strategies ranging from lively April Fool-type pranks to how to properly and definitely say goodbye to your old job, as well as links to o
other revenge-related resources, including how to pick a lock and the ultimate list of practical jokes. 

     And these few samples take us only through the A's - the sites are listed alphabetically A through Z - and page 33. What a shame we have lost the myriad musings offered by these hundreds of expectant Website authors. Like our earth in the deep-space universe, though, this fulsome listing is a mere speck in the vastness of the present day Internet! I guess that's why this book so intrigued me.

R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "Top 10 Summer Cooler Drink Recipes"

      It’s summer time and the living is HOT! It is the time we wrack our recipe files for summer day coolers, to relieve the heat, and hot sippers, to allay early morning or evening chills, while, at the same time, trying to please everyone’s palate.
      Whether it is just for one person’s after-work pick-me-up or for a group foray on a punch bowl on the patio or at a picnic, give up small prayers of thanks to all those who have spent past years experimenting with assorted ingredients and taste testing the ten resulting esoteric, tasty non-alcoholic recipes following that I have begged, borrowed, bought and bartered from family, friends and assorted other hosts.
      There is, of course, a place for the more mundane “Kool-Aid” and simple spinoffs I personally appreciate, like adding two rounded teaspoons of cherry or strawberry Kool-Ade/Country Time to a cup of cold milk, as well as the jillion assorted soda pops, flavored waters or bottled iced cappuccinos on the market, but it seems more sociable if a host offers self-mixed drinks, especially if they are unusual enough to serve as conversation starters. An upside is the host gaining an instant aura of sorts among the guests as being inventive, offbeat and fun. That’s no little thing.

1) Start with the SUPER SIMPLE SLUSH, incorporating two items usually consumed separately, lemonade and ice cream, A 13-year old girl passed this recipe on to me: In a tall glass of lemonade (either packaged or fresh from scratch) add enough vanilla ice cream to form a heavy slush. Stir to a smooth consistency. Best lemonade you’ll ever drink!

2) Cooler #2? Iced soup! No kidding. It’s cool, refreshing AND filling. I call it RED EYE.

After emptying 10 ½-ounce can Tomato soup into pan, fill soup can half full of water and add to soup.
Add one tablespoon lemon juice, saving the lemon peel for garnish.
Add small bottle club soda just before serving, to keep bubbles fresh.
Pour over cracked ice in wide-mouth glasses. Garnish with lemon peel.
Makes 3-4 servings.
     If you want some go-with-it treat, try brown-and-serve rolls stuffed with chili, or refried beans, or a mix of tuna fish, mayonnaise, mustard and pickle relish.

3) If anything can replace the coffee break, CONNIE KELLY PUNCH is it. I don’t even know who Connie Kelly was, but you will become the most popular person at work with a jug of this for TGIF afternoon sharing. And you won’t even need anything to go with it. Kelly may live in perpetuity for this, though in anonymity.

Refrigerate one 6-ounce can frozen lemonade and one 6-ounce can frozen orange juice until ready to  use.
Then mix them together in a large pitcher (or large thermos), with ¾ cup white granulated sugar, one teaspoon vanilla and two tablespoons honey, and pour into 10 cups cold water. Add ice.

4) The ALL-AMERICAN PICK-ME-UP includes several ingredients eaten in copious quantities, just not usually combined.  But what is more American than peanut butter, especially with apples, honey and yoghurt, which are its ingredients.
      Try a peanut butter and sliced sweet pickle sandwich with it. Or a peanut butter and jelly one sprinkled with raisins, mixed nuts and M&Ms or gumdrops. Or experiment if you want. I’ve even served ice cream with peanut butter topping for dessert.

Combine in blender and process until smooth (1-2 minutes at high speed):
1 ½ cups apple juice (or cran-apple juice),
One 8-ounce carton plain yoghurt,
 ¼ cup either creamy or chunky peanut butter,
 Two tablespoons honey.
Add two ice cubes, blending until all ice is crushed.
Serve cold. Makes about three cups.

5) “Tailgate” picnics have long been popular at football games, parades, rodeos or wherever else station wagon or pickup truck owners find themselves temporarily cut off from customary food and drink supply sources. Self-service food and drink is set up on these vehicles’ tailgates, thus the nomenclature. TAILGATE NOG is a quick energy drink, healthful, refreshing and a supplemental source of calcium and minerals. And it tastes good too.

Chill one 12-ounce can papaya nectar.
Peel one medium-sized banana and cut into chunks of slices.
Combine all in blender and process two to three minutes at high speed until smooth.
Serve cold. Makes about three cups.

6) Hawaiian themes are popular and easy to arrange. Have everyone come in print shirts and sarongs or muumuus, drape strips of flowers around everyone’s neck, float more flowers in the punch bowl or pool and bring in a hula instructor. Set plates around of stone ground crackers or tortilla chips and bite-size pepper cheese chunks, sweet and sour pickle chips and Polish Kielbasa sausage slices. (Never mind that these have nothing to do with Hawaii. No one will care. They go great with HAWAIIAN LUAU PUNCH.)

Ingredients:
3 large lemons, 4 tablespoons black tea, 2 cups white granulated sugar,
1 teaspoons vanilla, 1 teaspoon almond extract,
2 28-ounce bottles ginger ale, 1-2 cans Hawaiian pineapple tidbits (or fruit cocktail).
Freeze cans of pineapple (or fruit cocktail).
Wash lemons, extract juice, add rinds to sugar and 4 cups of cold water in sauce pan, then heat, stirring until sugar is dissolved.
Boil 2 cups water and pour over black tea and steep for 10 minutes.
Strain tea and add it. Cool. Stir in vanilla and almond extract.
Chill until serving time. Serve in punch bowl, adding chilled ginger ale.
Extract pineapple as whole cylinders (or fruit cocktail) from cans and float in punch.
Makes 15 cup servings.

7) Eager to impress boss, new neighbors or critical in-laws? Try LASSI, a yoghurt-based drink typically found in Yugoslavia and Middle Eastern homes. Prepare it in front of guests, giving a running spiel on yoghurt’s economy, nutritional qualities and mythic ability to promote longevity.

Combine one cup flavored yoghurt, one teaspoon ground cumin,
one teaspoon salt in a deep bowl and whisk until smooth.
Slowly pour 3 cups ice water in to desired consistency until ingredients are blended.
Taste for seasoning, Pour into glasses and garnish with lemon wedges or mint sprigs.
Makes four servings.

8) Even the ingredients in SUNSET SIESTA TEA  - cinnamon and almond - seem to blend just right into a restful respite at sunset while rocking with good friends on the front porch or sipping in the hot tub.

Ingredients:
One individual Pekoe tea bag (or ¼ cup freshly brewed, or very hot instant/freeze dried coffee, if preferred)
4 drops almond extract. 2 dashes cinnamon and one cinnamon stick, 2 teaspoons white granulated sugar, one rounded teaspoon non-dairy creamer, a dollop of whipped topping.
Place almond extract, cinnamon and tea bag (or coffee) in mug.
Add 1/4 cup boiling water and brew 3-4 minutes. Remove tea bag.
Add sugar and creamer and stir. Garnish with whipped topping and cinnamon stick.
Makes one serving.

9) This change-of-pace hot drink, RUSSIAN TEA, might be called the anorexia nervosa breakfast, because it is a stimulating waker-upper for those days when breakfast just doesn‘t sound like a good enough reason to get up.

Combine ¾ cup instant tea, 2 ½ cups (or one 18-ounce jar) orange-flavored instant breakfast drink, 1 ¼ cups white granulated sugar, one teaspoon ground cinnamon, ½ teaspoon ground cloves and a dash of salt in large jar.
Store in jar, tightly covered, until ready to serve.
To serve, place one well-rounded teaspoon of mix in cup or glass.
Add boiling water and stir until dissolved.
Garnish with lemon slice and cinnamon stick.

10) “Tope” is an out-of-favor word designating an interjection used in wishing good health before drinking. It is apropos for gatherings where guests may be young enough to require boozeless punch. Citrus to the rescue.

Chill one 23-ounce bottle sparkling water, 6 cups orange juice, and 3 cups grapefruit juice.
Thickly slice two oranges.
Combine orange and grapefruit juices, 2 tablespoons grenadine, one tablespoon honey in a large bowl. Stir to dissolve honey.
Add orange slices. Just before serving add sparkling water.
Makes about 24 4-ounce servings.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:
TEABERRY PUNCH combines two rounded tablespoons of instant tea, 2 cups cranberry juice cocktail, ¼ cup lemon juice, and sugar to taste in one quart of cold water. Makes 6 glasses.
RASPBERRY PUNCH incorporates ½ gallon vanilla ice cream, melted, and 3 10-ounce packages of frozen raspberries, thawed, mixed with 3-4 quarts of chilled ginger ale in a punch bowl and stirred until smooth. Makes about a gallon.

      Of course, there is no accounting for differing tasters since everyone has preferences acquired from various venues over time. To point up just how disparate tastes can be, a BOOBY PRIZE selection is also offered.
      Swedish millionaire and retired tennis professional Bjorn Borg used to swig his own concoction by the gallon for quick energy pickups while on the tennis tour. He never named it, so we’ve done that for him. We’ll call it BJORN’S BELLYASH.
      Mix carbonated lemonade with black currant syrup. That’s it! Personally, I have to wonder how anyone could do that to their taste buds!

R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "Father's Day Origins"

     The first Father's Day may have been celebrated in 1908...or 1909...or maybe 1910. It might have been 1916 or even 1936!
     Most sources credit a Spokane, Washington, woman named Sonora Smart Dodd, for being the driving force behind this observance, when she stated fathers deserved equal recognition with mothers, who had been recognized decades earlier.  
     Mother's Day, according to World Book, was suggested in 1872, but didn't really receive national recognition until May 9, 1914 when President Woodrow Wilson signed a joint resolution of Congress for it. The next year, he proclaimed it an annual national observance.
     Dodd, as well as her five siblings, including a newborn, were raised by their father, William Jackson Smart, after their mother died giving birth to the newborn. Dodd began calling for a Father's Day in 1909, after hearing a sermon promoting a national Mother's Day. But a statewide celebration was first held June 19, 1910, in the state of Washington, according to World Book Encyclopedia.
     Other sources deliver other claimants, of course. For example, Mrs. Charles Clayton of Wes Virginia had promoted, unsuccessfully, such a holiday as early as 1908. But the idea gained wide acceptance over the next half-dozen years, even being approved by President Woodrow Wilson in 1916. Finally a national Father's Day Committee was formed, in 1936.
     Even then it was not until 1966 that President Lyndon Johnson signed a proclamation designating the third Sunday in June as Father's Day. And it was left to President Richard Nixon to make it an official permanent national observance.

R. Loeffelbein's Whatchama Column: "NEW PUNCTUATION MARKS WE NEED"

      It was Thrasymachus, in the third century B.C., who started using the period to indicate the end of a sentence. Before that people just kept writing until they stopped. But after that I can’t remember the last time a new punctuation mark was added to our comma, exclamation mark, et al. But it hasn’t been for lack of trying.
     Some years back a writer named Carl I. Huss made a stab at it in one of the writers’ magazines. It may have been written as wry humor rather than as a serious attempt at upgrading English punctuation, but the germ of an interesting idea is there. So here are the marks he proposed, seriously or not.
      First, the “deflation point”, which would be an inverted exclamation point, showing lack of enthusiasm, opposite of the exclamation point. Example: You ask the boss for a raise and he says, “I’ll think about it (insert deflation point).”
      Of course, the computer keyboard will need the new character inserted on it. If you remain one of the dwindling number of typewriter users, however, this character may be produced by typing a colon, backspacing and penning a vertical line through the bottom dot. For those few still writing letters and reports in cursive or hand- printing, of course, the deflation point could be used as soon as it is approved.
      Secondly, Huss offers the “never-mind” mark, which would look like a question mark with a comma at the bottom instead of a dot. (Computer users are screwed on this one also. Typewriters could make it by over-striking the question mark with the comma. Handwriters, again, no problem.)
      This mark is used for the gossip or other non-stop talker, who never pauses long enough for a conversational cut-in. Example: “I was talking to Minnie on the phone - you know Minnie (“never-mind” mark insertion) - and she said Ellen has a wild new hairdo - have you seen it yet - and that her husband said….” As you can see, it is a question, but doesn’t end the sentence. It’s sort of a mark replacing “etc”, giving the reader/listener a chance to stop listening/reading at the point where the writer/talker should have stopped.
      Speaking of “etc”, that may be the single most useless punctuation mark needing elimination. Basically it is a sign to make others think you know more than you do. Dropping it would, of course, necessitate a lot of thinking that is not done at present though.
      Buzzfeed.com on the Internet has come up with a variation on this “never mind“ mark, the “snark”. It looks like a svelt snaky question mark retaining the comma underneath. It gives a statement a second meaning, as irony or sarcasm. This snark mark may possibly be the most needed new mark of all.
      The “never mind” mark has been revised more recently, also at Buzzfeed.com, which offers the “exclamatory comma”, an exclamation point with a comma in place of the dot under it. It is used to show excitement in a comment but not to shut off further exclamation or other content. Not possible for typists, but a beautiful punctuation mark for handwriters.
       Another new mark is called the “colosemi”, a reversed semi-colon, with the comma part on top and the dot part on the bottom. Its use? Combining two unrelated sentences, like “We were watching TV (colosemi mark inserted) gee, Bert, are you getting bald?” NG on the computer, OK on typewriter by over-striking a colon with a single quotation mark, fine for handwriters.
       Writer Huss admitted he is “one of the saps” who never remember where to put the apostrophe in showing possession - Huss’, Huss’s or Husss’. So he invented the “sapostrophe”, which puts one in all three versions. It’s a thing of beauty, with an overline across all the s letters with apostrophes in the appropriate spots, thus: Huss’s’ss’.
      Buzzfeed.com also adds the “interrobang”, a combination of the question mark with a strikeover exclamation point. It combines an exclamation of wonderment, for instance, with a question (like wondering whether the statement is true or not). It’s sort of like texting OMGwtf?!
      My own addition would be the “end-of-argument” mark, a colon following the vertical slash mark (located above the left-to-right slash mark on the keyboard) thus |: . It would show the knowledge that an argument is not really over, that it is merely postponed for the present, rather like an argument with the wife or girlfriend.

R. Loeffelbein's Whatchama Column: 12 RELIGIONS WITH THE SAME PRIME THOUGHT: THE "GOLDEN RULE"

                   
      I was surprised to learn it was Frederick the Great, one of the most astute military minds in history, who said, “All religions must be tolerated, for every man must get to heaven in his own way.”
      Yet, when we study religion, we wonder how people - living within other religions than ours - can do some of the things they do. Until we know more about these other religions, and the people who follow them, though, how can we know they don’t believe basically as we do, just with different interpretations?
      Are we looking at the road others are taking, rather than at the destination?  Maybe we need to take a look at the religion in our diverse religions. Perhaps if all religions could be brought together to discuss a common goal, differences could be lessened.
      A start might be made by realizing that the 12 major religions in the world today all have a guiding tenet that presents an amazing parallelism. It was first introduced to me from a now forgotten philosophy textbook used in 1948 at Washington State College (now University). An article in it, titled “A Sheaf of Golden Rules from Twelve Religions”, impressed me enough so I copied and filed it for periodic reference through intervening years. The piece had no listed author, though the book was authored by Ross Hoople, Raymond Piper and William Tolley of Syracuse University.
      We know the Christian religion is summed up in the Golden Rule: “All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so unto them: for this is the law and the prophets.” Our surprise, however, is that each of these other 11 major religions all have a similar “law” in their teachings. Here they are.

Baha’i: “If thou lookest toward justice, choose thou for others what thou choosest for thyself. Blessed is he who prefers his brother before himself.”

Buddhism: “In five ways should a clansman minister to his friends and familiars: by generosity, courtesy, and benevolence, by treating them as he treats himself, and by being as good as his word.”

Confucianism: “Is there one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one’s life? The Master said, ‘Is not Reciprocity (Sympathy, Consideration) such a word? What do you not want done to yourself, do not do to others‘.”

Hebrewism: “Thou shalt love they neighbor as thyself.”

Hinduism: “This is the high religion which wise men esteem: the lifegiving breaths of other creatures are as dear to them as the breaths of one’s self. Men gifted with intelligence and purified souls should always treat others as they themselves wish to be treated.”

Islamism: “No one of you is a believer until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”

Jainism: “Indifferent to worldly objects, a man should wander about treating all creatures in the world as he himself would be treated.”

Sikhism: “As thou deemest thyself, so deem others; then thou shalt become a partner in Heaven.”

Taoism: “Regard your neighbor’s gain as your own gain, and regard your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.”

Tenrikyo Shintoism: “Irrespective of their nationality, language, manners and culture, men should give mutual aid, and enjoy reciprocal, peaceful pleasure by showing in their conduct that they are brethren.”

Zoroastrianism: “Him who is less than thee consider as an equal, and an equal as a superior, and a greater than him as a chieftain.”

      Interesting, isn’t it, that the 12 main religions of the world have one thought uppermost? Couldn’t that be a great starting point for world peace?
###

R. Loeffelbein's Whatchama Column: Real Designer of America's Flag

Capt. Samuel Chester Reid,
The Real Designer of Our Present-Day “Stars & Stripes”

By Robert L. Loeffelbein

The most protected myth in the United States is that Betsy Ross designed and sewed the first American Stars & Stripes flag.
A 2008 survey noted persons over 45 years of age had listed Betsy as one of our top ten historically important persons because of this belief. That shows how publicity and the passing on of incorrect information can distort history.
Philadelphia, where her former home has been heavily commercialized as the site of the sewing, has built a large tourist trade on that early, and still common, belief. They aren’t going to give that up, but it is quite well documented as untrue by records in the Smithsonian Institution, as recorded in The United States Flagbook: Everything About ‘Old Glory’ (McFarland 1996). That book, used by Smithsonian researchers there in flag reference queries, is backed up by Smithsonian files as well as notation in A Dictionary of American Biography, as edited by Dumas Malone for the American Council of Learned Societies (1943).
Elizabeth “Betsy” (Griscom) Ross and her descendants - she lived to age 84 and was married three times - were upholsterers-turned-flag makers until 1858, but she did not originate the design or color scheme for the Star-Spangled Banner, nor did she sew it. Smithsonian records show she did make and receive pay for some ships’ flags for Pennsylvania’s Navy, and it may have been the order for these that was mistaken for the request for an ensign.
According to some of her descendents, Betsy did claim to have originated the United States flag. A paper read to the Pennsylvania Historical Society on March 14, 1870 by William J. Canby, Betsy’s grandson, claimed that George Washington, George Morris and George Ross came to Betsy in June 1776, showed her a design and asked her to make it up. He said she did and the flag was taken to the state house and adopted by Congress as the flag of the United States.
Canby said the paper had been dictated to him in 1856 by his aunt, Betsy’s  daughter, who said her mother had told her the story many times. Yet actual records contradict the paper’s account.
This popular misconception was perpetuated by the United States Postal Service by issuing a 1952 stamp commemorating the 20th anniversary of Betsy Ross’s birth, picturing her showing a stars-and-stripes flag to the committee of three who supposedly contacted her to do the job.
The flag-making company of Annin of New Jersey also contributed to the myth, from time to time, by presenting a Betsy Ross Award to individuals who furthered the cause of patriotism.
A different flag-making story which saw print, though without proof, described how some girls of Portsmouth, New Hampshire, made a Stars & Stripes from ballroom gowns for John Paul Jones in July 1777. This flag was supposed to have gone down with his ship, the Bon Homme Richard.
Some experts still admit the possibility that Francis Hopkinson, a New Jersey judge and signer of the Declaration of Independence who served two years as chairman of the Navy Board, might have had something to do with the design of the flag. He was a noted draftsman as well as an acknowledged expert on heraldry.
A letter is on file from him to the Admiralty Board suggesting payment of nine pounds for his work “designing sundry seals and devices, also the Flag of the United States”. But his request was denied. Members of Congress seem not to have been convinced he had been the sole designer of all the things he claimed, including some issues of paper money.
Flag Day Commemorates Design
On June 14, 1777 (which present-day Flag Day commemorates) the Marine Committee of the Second Continental Congress offered a resolution, duly adopted, “that the flag of the United States be thirteen stripes, alternate red and white, that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new constellation”. No specific pattern for the stars was stated. Who suggested this design, however, is not definitely known.
One story that lingers on is that it was taken from a new coat of arms of the Washington family. That is doubtful and unproven.
When two new states were brought into the Union in 1795 two new stars and stripes were added to the flag. It was this 15-starred and striped flag that was made by Mary Pickersgill in Baltimore’s Flag House and flew over Fort McHenry to become Francis Scott Key’s inspiration for the American national anthem.
By 1816, with more new states already accepted and others clamoring to be admitted, it was decided the flag would become unwieldy by adding a star and a stripe for each new state. In 1818 New York Representative Peter Wendover consulted Reid and Congress turned to the newest American hero, Captain Samuel Chester Reid, who had staged one of the most heroic defenses of the flag’s honor in history, to come up with a workable lasting design.
He and his wife made up a model, returning the original thirteen stripes, for the thirteen original states, with a blue field to which a new star could be added for each new state, with the stars in parallel rows for military use and arranged in one great star for other purposes. Congress approved the design and President James Monroe signed the act making the flag official as of April 4, 1818. A flag made by Mrs. Reid was hoisted on the Capitol eight days later with the president in attendance..
Captain Reid’s story is well documented. It was recognized by Congressional Committee (House Report 160, 35 Congress, 1 Session, Feb. 5, 1859), retold by James Poling in a national newspaper supplement some years ago under the title “He Designed Our Flag” and mentioned also in a biography of Reid in A Dictionary of American Biography.
Reid’s Act of Heroism
Reid’s act of heroism took place toward the end of the War of 1812 when he sailed the 246-ton privateer General Armstrong into Fayal, a neutral port in the Portuguese Azores. While taking on water, three British warships under the command of Commodore Edward Lloyd, entered Fayal en route to join forces concentrating at Jamaica against New Orleans.
Reid started moving his ship in under the Portuguese fort’s protection about seven in the evening, but found four armed boats approaching from the Carnation with the evident purpose of  making a surprise capture. Reid challenged, they continued, so he fired into them. The British suffered about 20 casualties while Reid lost just one man and had his Lieutenant wounded.
The Portuguese port governor sent a warning to the British, but they ignored it and attacked again near midnight with 12 to 14 boats, holding some 400 men. Reid and his 90 men, with nine mounted guns, drove a boarding party off in fierce hand-to-hand skirmishing, killing 120 British sailors and wounding 130 more. Reid’s crew suffered only two fatalities and seven other injuries.
Next day at daylight, the 18-gun Carnation  commenced a cannonade broadside but, within ten minutes, was so badly damaged by exacting fire from Reid’s “Long Tom” 42-pounder it was forced to retire.
But, when the other two warships - the 74-gun Plantagenet and 38-gun Rota - attacked, Reid realized he stood no chance. He ordered his men ashore and scuttled his ship, which was burned by the enemy.
When the British commodore notified Reid he and his crew would be taken prisoners, Reid ordered a defensive stand in an abandoned convent. But next day, in an unprecedented and unexpected move, a group of British officers invited Reid to the British consulate and honored him with cheers and toasts. The British remained in port for ship repairs and burying their dead. The Commodore insisted on examining the American force for British deserters, but otherwise left them unmolested.
As it turned out, the delay caused by Reid here ultimately greatly aided General Jackson’s defense of New Orleans.
Back home after the war Reid was showered with accolades, among them the equivalent of a pension by appointment as sailing master in the Navy on July 3, 1843, a sword from the New York legislature, a silver service from the New York merchants, and the honor of designing the new flag.
Reid Biography
Reid was born August 25, 1783 in Norwich, CT, son of Lieutenant John Reid, a former British naval officer and member of a distinguished Glasgow family, who resigned his commission to join the cause of the American Revolution after being captured. He remained in the U.S. after marrying Rebecca Chester of Norwich.
Young Samuel went to sea at age 11, was captured by a French privateer and imprisoned for six months at Bassel-Terre, Guadaloupe, then served as acting midshipman on the USS Baltimore in the West Indies for a year. At age 20 he was master of the brig Merchant out of New York and later became master of the privateer General Armstrong when it left New York on September 9, 1814. On September 26 he reached the Azores, site of his historic battle.
Reid, Sr., had married Mary, daughter of Captain Nathan Jennings of Fairfield, CT, June 8, 1813, and they ultimately had eight children, including Samuel Chester, Jr., whose name was first known to the public in connection with the publication of an account of his experiences during the Mexican War under the title The Scouting Expeditions of McCulloch’s Texas Rangers (1847). During his last years he wrote a history of his father’s career.
Reid, Sr., served as harbor master in New York for many years and was noted for working to improve pilot boat service, securing a lightship off Sandy Hook and publishing a signal code for American vessels. In 1826 he also devised and demonstrated a system whereby messages could be sent from New York to New Orleans in just two hours, though a bill for his system’s adoption was killed by the advent of electric telegraphy.
Reid, Sr., died at his home near Franklin Square, New York City, January 28, 1861 and is buried in Lot 13108, Section 172, at Green-Wood Cemetery, Fifth Avenue at 25th Street, Brooklyn, NY. A memorial was placed at the grave site after Representative Francis E. Dorn (Brooklyn, NY) drafted a bill to Congress to provide it.

(Source: The United States Flag Book: Everything About "Old Glory" by Robert L. Loeffelbein.,McFarland Press, 1996)

R. Loeffelben's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: Zodiac Signs of American Indians

     Animals are an important part of Native American culture. We’ll focus primarily on the animals most closely associated with birth months - in other words, the zodiac of Native American tribes. similar to the Greek horoscopes in ordinary use today. Native American tribes held the belief that the time of year a person is born into will directly affect a person’s personal characteristics.

     Here is a list, by month, of the animals and their traits (thanks to the Internet)..

January 20th through February 18th - The Otter

Different thinking and independent, for most people, the Otter is seldom easy to understand. The Otter does things in an unconventional way. As a result of this, the way the Otter does things is not typically the first selected method. This is unfortunate as the Otter’s unconventional methods can oftentimes be exceptionally adequate.

While unusual in its viewpoint, the Otter is typically gifted with a unique way of seeing things that are imaginative and intelligent. As a result, the Otter often sees solutions that no one else sees thanks to his/her intuitive and perceptive imagination. If you are looking for a friend, look no further than someone born under the sign of the Otter. Otters pay great attention, are very supportive, understanding, brave, and truthful. The Otter, under some circumstances, can also be lewd, a real rebel, a loner, and unscrupulous.

February 19th through March 20th – The Wolf

Passion and emotion are the hallmarks of the Wolf. The Native American sign that is most attuned to the heart and philosophy, the Wolf understands the emotional needs of everyone around him/her and is perfectly willing to provide love. Conversely, the Wolf is the most independent of the Native American signs, which contrasts with his/her ability to love.

Seeking true independence, yet being able to provide love and gentle acceptance, this sign exudes a sensation of “The Lone Wolf”. When it comes to nurture, the Wolf is full of passion, willing to give, deeply loving, and most of all gentle. The Wolf, under some circumstances, can be adamant, obsessive, have a ruthless streak, and somewhat impractical.

March 21st through April 19th - The Falcon

Naturally inclined to leadership, the Falcon always has a sharp mind when it comes to making decisions in tense situations. Always pragmatic, this member of the Native American zodiac isn’t inclined to wasting time and always stays on target.

Keeping on task is the hallmark of the Falcon. Keenly suited for team sports, the Falcon always tends to seize on any opportunity. The Falcon also always tends to voice their opinions stridently, and as a result, can come off as a bit of a braggart – although the Falcon quite often right in. No sign in the Native American cycle is as fiery as the Falcon. Under certain circumstances Falcons lack patience, can be rude and come across as being vain and touchy.

April 20th through May 20th – The Beaver

The beaver loves being in charge but is also flexible and can adapt to any situation easily. Ever businesslike, the way of the Beaver is efficiency tempered with an almost nonchalant air. Using these traits, the job typically gets done. If you are born under this sign, you are a cunning individual who should never be underestimated. As a Beaver, you’re sharp thinking and bright.

If you are born under this sign, you’ve got it going for you. Unfortunately, a Beaver is also inclined to stubbornness when it comes to what they view as the proper procedure. Though typically right in these circumstances, a beaver could benefit with a little more tact. Under the right circumstances, Beavers can be loyal, compassionate, helpful and generous. Adversely, Beavers can also be cowardly, nervous, stubborn, and a tad possessive.

May 21st through June 20th – The Deer

The deer in Native American mythology represents the creative influence. Witty and inspiring, the Deer also has a great sense of humor and can make almost anyone laugh. Always willing to converse, if you fall under the sign of the Deer then you are a great talker.

As a Deer, you are amazingly affable and oftentimes the life of the party. Environmental awareness is also a key trait of a Deer, and typically those born under this sign are very fastidious when it comes to personal appearance. Somewhat conceited, the Deer can be a bit self-absorbed. This is usually forgiven because he/she is typically so easy to get along with.

Thanks to the inclination to be lively, the Deer can be a great inspiring member in any relationship, and tends to lean towards a nurturing personality. The Deer, under certain circumstances, can be a bit moody, lazy, or even seem to have double standards. 

June 21st through July 21st – The Woodpecker

The Woodpecker is the nurterer and always having an open ear. People born under this sign are very empathetic and understanding. No other sign is as supportive.

Woodpeckers are amazing parents and also make for great friends and business partners. Woodpeckers can sometimes be a little frugal but you can rely on them blindly because they tend to be very organized. As the most nurturing on this list, you can expect Woodpeckers to be deeply dedicated, caring, and inclined to romance. Beware, though: As Woodpeckers can also be jealous, prone to anger, and very possessive.

July 22nd through August 21st – The Salmon

Creativity is your calling card if you are born under the sign of the salmon. Salmons are also expressly focused, prone to intuitiveness, and amazingly energetic. As a Salmon, you are very confident and love to motivate. Your enthusiasm is also almost entirely un-curbable, and it’s also very infectious. People tend to go along with the Salmon very easily, even when the scheme seems doomed to fail.

As a Salmon, you have many friends thanks to your intelligent, intuitive, and generous nature. Driven by a need for purpose and goal achievement, you’ll have no problems finding compatriots for the quests you undertake. In relationships, Salmon are giving, calm, stable, and sensual. Under certain circumstances, however, the Salmon can also be vulgar, egocentric, and biased.

August 22nd through September 21st – The Bear

Pragmatism is the calling card of the stoic Bear. Friends know to call on you when a level head and a steady arm are needed for almost anything. Practicality is another trait of those who are born under this sign, and thus, Bears, who also can be generous and giving, tend to pair well with those born under the sign of the Owl.

Humility also tends to be the style of the Bear, and sometimes those born under this sign can tend to be very shy. In most situations, Bears tend to provide nearly unconditional love and generosity to those around them, all while maintaining patience and temperance. Bears are great in an educational setting, as their patience transfers well to those they are teaching. Under some circumstances, Bears can also be skeptics, lazy, and reserved.

September 22nd through October 22nd – The Raven

Another enthusiastic sign, the Raven tends towards a natural proclivity towards entrepreneurship and charm. As a Raven, you possess a type of easy energy that everyone relies on when it comes to your ideas.

As a Raven’s you are quite the idealist but also calculating at the same time. Under positive circumstances, the Raven is very easy going, romantic, and almost invariably soft-spoken. In relationships, the Raven is intuitive and patient. In some circumstances, the Raven can also come across as selfish, vindictive, inconsistent, and can rub people the wrong way.

October 23rd through November 22nd – The Snake

Closely tied to the world of the spirit, the Snake is the traditional sign of the shaman. Its link to the spiritual world is why those born under this sign are so easily attuned to the ethereal. Healing comes very naturally for the Snake, so if you are born under this Native American sign you can expect to excel in the medical field. As a result of your natural spiritual link, people might find that you have a sometimes mysterious or even frightening bearing.

There is a bit of an inclination to secrecy and darkness in the Snake, but those born under this sign can also be very caring and sensitive. In positive situations, the Snake can be humorous, helpful and inspiring. In adverse situations, you can expect despondency, volatility, or even violence.

November 23rd through December 21st – The Owl

The Native American horoscope has no other sign as mutable as the Owl. As a rule, this sign is one of the most adaptive. Easy going, natural, and warm, the Owl is friendly to all. If you fall under this sign, you grab life by the horns and have a love for exploring and adventure.

This can naturally be dangerous as the Owl can also be careless, prone to recklessness, and inconsiderate. Those born under this sign do great in the fields of teaching, art, and conservation, and due to his/her mutability, almost any other vocation. In positive relationships, an Owl has a zealous personality but also tends to be sensitive and is a great listener. In difficult situations, the Owl tends to come across as aggressive, somewhat bitter, and almost invariably overindulgent.

December 22nd through January 19th – The Goose

Perseverance and doggedness are the hallmarks of this sign. If you are born under this Native American animal symbol, friends know to reach out to you when something needs to be done. For a Goose, ambition is also one of their key defining characteristics and the Goose typically achieves his/her ambitions succinctly. This drive to succeed comes from the spirit; no external force pushes the Goose to achieve.

Drive and perseverance are what keeps the Goose moving. As a Goose, you excel in professional and physical pursuits. There is no stopping you especially when you know that your family and friends have your back.

When in a positive relationship, the Goose can be affable, passionate, and sensual. In adverse situations, a Goose can easily succumb to addiction or be obsessive, which is typically the downfall of those who fall under this sign.