R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "Candid Cameos"

     Was doing some masticatin' the muslin with a buddy recently  which got out of hand and turned  silly, but I thought I'd share some of it, anyhow, since it's been a slow day.

I love to watch:
                              two frugal friends trying to out-fumble each other for the bar tab, since I'd already paid for the previous round.
                              a smooooth operator striking out with a girl everybody has dated.
                              well-tanned and turned legs in flaring mini-skirts. Much more intriguing than the same tanned legs in a bikini, for some odd reason!
                              the unbelievable gyrations of good hip-hop dancers.
                              the self-satisfied look of a girl who is sure every man in the place is watching her take off her coat.
                             the mailman holding back the questions he is dying to ask abaout the unusual mail I'm getting lately.

I hate to see:  
                             that look of unbelief in a woman's eyes when I'm lying to her.
                             TV testimonials by inarticulate millionaire athletes.
                             men's room attendants. As if I haven't been doing everything there without their help all my life!
                             the bottom of a choice bottle, which I may not be able to replace.
                             teen agers driving cars years better than mine.
                             big men, or women, named "Tiny". Is that really funny?
                             Dear John letters to anyone. Aren't our lives beset by enough problems without getting punched in the heart?

I am sympathetic with:
                             a friend's expensive tastes and beer income.
                             the look of panic on the face of anyone with too many belts under their belt to keep them down.
                             anyone's struggle between boredom and politeness.
                             the results of anyone taking portrait selfies in a camera booth.
                             presidential candidates who don't know the meaning of "presidential".
                             anyone trying their first "chaw" of tobacco and no one told them not to swallow.
                             everyone...and, boy, do I hear a lot of troubles!

I'd like to forget:
                            trying to impress a date with  her ex boyfriend sitting two tables over.
                            those moaning-afters when I get up looking just like my driver's license photo.
                            the erstwhile "friend" who set me up with a blind date with his girl friend's definitely desirable friend from out of town, only to find she's pregnant, divorced and looking for a new "daddy".(Set 'em up, bartender. That leads to serious forgetfulness.)