R. Loeffelbein's LISTS BLOG: "List of Things Invisible"

     How can one plagiarize "nothing"?
     This thought intrigued me as I browsed an item in Reader's Digest circa 7/8/17, because that is exactly what I intended doing and will have now done, following my admission. I hope originator "Flora" will forgive me, but this really tickled my sense of ill-logic.

LIST: Top Five Things That Are Invisible

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See what I mean?










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See what I mean?
   

R. Loeffelbein's DOG BLOG: "My Dog's Questions"

     We humans often sit, seemingly idle, at times, but actually we are probably day dreaming, asking ourselves questions that have vexed us at one time or another. With this in mind, I noted my dog, Red, sitting seemingly idle also yesterday, but with his ears erect and an interested look on his face that made me think that he, also, might well be asking himself questions that have vexed him at one time or another. What kind of questions would vex a dog, you ask? Well, surprisingly, right off the cuff I could think of a number I'd wonder about if I were Red. Think about that yourself and I'll bet you can come up with quite a list yourself.
     Right at the top of my list was, "Why do humans, who seem to have perfectly good noses, love to go around smelling the flowers but never enjoy smelling one another's butts"
     "And will it still be considered an unacceptable affront in the afterlife to greet one's human friends by sticking one's nose into their crotch?"
     And I wondered if my dog thought he was being a bad dog by barking, just for the joy of it, in the house when no one was there to hear him?
     And, "Do you suppose there are mailmen in Heaven and, if there are, am I going to have to apologize? And tell any garbage collectors there that I'm sorry for the way I acted, that I know now that they weren't stealing our trash?"
     Likewise, "are the wastes of this world going to be available for our olfactory senses to enjoy as we roll in them, like decaying fish and leavings of the horses in our pasture?"
     Will it still be considered impolite - when I try to be fastidious - sitting in the middle of the living room and licking my crotch?"
     If we are man's best friend, like I've heard voiced around, how come there are cars named after rabbit, colt, mustang, stingray and cougar, but not one named for a dog> How much trouble would it be to change the Christler Eagle to the Beagle, for instance?"
     Will some of the things taught me in this world still have relevance where I go when I pass on, like: "The master's bed is not a dog towel for use after a rainy day walk, the living room carpet is not kept as a handy solution for an itchy butt, and the cat's food is not meant for me, even if the cat has thrown it up."
     The most worrysome wonderment, though, is whether I"ll get my testicles back in Heaven!!!
   

R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "Smile Awhile"

     People who have that sneaky mental twist that allows them to smile at mankind's fumbles and foibles by putting one of those into a joke deserve accolades in our today's world of toil and strife. Wouldn't you agree?    
     Unfortunately, I can't give the originators of the following yuks, which I consider well worthy of passing on, because I gleaned them from a column titled The Edge, over a period of time, in the local  Lewiston Tribune, where they were not credited. But I think those originators will be happy to share anonymously anyhow.\

1) A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park. Her mother was touched by her child's kindness and gave her the dollar. Curious, she asked the child, "Isn't the lady able to work anymore?"
     "Oh, yes," came the reply. "She sells candy."

2) My neighbor lady was talking to her four-year old son about imminent family visitations. He asked her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talked funny and sounded like their noses were plugged up.
     "Well, they think we talk funny too," she said. "Everybody talks in different ways. They think we talk really slow, with our words all d-r-a-w-n out."
     The boy's eyes got big and he whispered seriously, "You mean they hear funny too?"

3) The small boy asked his father how people came to be. His father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, their babies became adults and made more babies, and on and on like that."
     Not satisfied with that, the boy then went to his mother and asked her how people came to be..She told him, "We were monkeys first, then we evolved into people like we are now."
     Confused, the boy raced back to his father and told him, "You lied to me. Mom said we were monkeys. We didn't come from Adam and Eve."
     The father, unperturbed,  replied, "Your mom was talking about HER side of the family!

4) Harry walked up to the minister after services, "You know, reverend, I'm in a real quandary. I'd like to attend church next Sunday, but I can't possibly miss the big game next Sunday."
     "But, Harry," replied the rev, "don't you know that is what DVRs are for?"
     Harry's face lit up. "You mean I could record your sermon?"

5) A flight attendant on a cross country flight about 30 minutes out of Los Angeles nervously announced, "I don't know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners available.
     When the passengers muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal, though, will receive free drinks for the remainder of the trip."
      Her next announcement came an hour later. "If anyone wants to change their mind, we still have 29 dinners available."

6) There was a papa mole, a mama mole and a baby mole who lived in a hole in the country near a farmhouse. One morning papa mole poked his head outside the hole and announced,. "Mama, I smell sausage."
     So mama mole poked her head out and added, "Ummm. And I smell pancakes."
     So baby mole tried to stick his head out the hole, but couldn't because his parents were blocking it. Disappointed, he whined, "The only thing I can smell is molasses."

Admit it. You smiled awhile, didn't you?

R.Loeffelbein's DOG BLOG: "The Way Your Dog Would Like You to Grow Old"

     (This came off the Internet uncredited, which is too bad because the author surely would be a nice person to know.)

     When I am old:
I will wear soft gray sweatshirts, and a bandanna over my silver hair
And I will spend my Social Security checks on wine and my dogs.
I will sit in my house on my well-worn chair, and listen to my dogs breathing.
I will sneak out in the middle of a warm summer night and take my dogs for a run, if my old bones will allow.
When people call, I will smile and nod as I introduce my dogs, and talk of them and about them, so beloved are they.
I will still work hard cleaning after them, mopping, and feeding them and whispering their names in a soft loving way they understand.
I will wear the gleaming sweat on my throat like a jewel and I will be an embarrassment to all, especially my family, who have not yet found the peace in being free to have dogs as best friends... friends who always wait, at any hour, for your footfall, and eagerly jump to their feet out of a sound sleep to greet you as if you are a God.
With their warm eyes so full of adoring love, they hope you will always stay.
I'll hug their big strong necks; I'll kiss their dear sweet heads, and whisper in their very special company.
I look in the mirror, and see that I am growing old.
Please accept me for who I am,
For this is the kind of person I am, and have always been.
Loving dogs is easy; they are a part of me.
My dogs appreciate my presence in their lives and, when I am old, this will be important to me.
You will understand when you are old, if you have dogs to love too!

R. Loeffelbein's LISTS: "There's An App For THAT!"

     Computerists code the most innovative and oddest apps into the World Wide Web! I enjoy browsing this fount of obtuse ingenuity on occasion. My most recent foray brought up the following list you might look up if you, too, are a curious and adventuresome type person.

These company Websites advertise novelties that intrigued me: 

     a wooden toy that teaches coding: Cubetto (from Primo Toys).

     3-D printed shoes: Futurecraft 3-D (from Adidas)

      a wearable toy that kids can program: Mover Kit (from Technology Will Save Us)

     a slick electric bike: Oko (from Biomega)

      A plug-in gadget that makes cars run cleaner: Voyo (from Frog)

These Websites actually DO things:

Record your life in GIFs::Glphy Cam (from Giphy)

Kids choreograph dances for monsters: Monster Moves (from Ideo)

Scanning allows you to try on clothes virtually: Avametric (from Avametric)

App changes the color temperature of your screen as it gets later in the day, to ease eye strain and work with your body's sleep schedule: Flux

A team picks the best You Tube videos daily and posts them to its site daily: Devour.com

Site explores possibility that early mankind was scientifically advanced because of intervention from extraterrestrial beings:AncientX.com

Site lets you write an e-mail to yourself that will arrive in the day, month and year in the future that you select (if you keep the same e-mail address): FutureMe.org

Service streams music to fit your musical preference, temps and  mood - sad to aggressive: Ghostlycom/discovery

Simple calculator determines what time you should fall asleep based on your targeted wake time, waking you between your natural sleep cycles to get the best start for your day: Sleepyti.me

Site simply offers a 90-second breather from computer activities, featuring the theme from TVs Lost series: TheQuietPlace Project.com/90seconds

Beta site with interactive timeline incorporating photos, videos and audio in a visual tour of the origins of the universe, our solar system and humanity itself: ChromeZoomProject.org

Specify the recording artist you would like to hear and this site will stream its music AND suggest the perfect cocktail accompaniment: Drinkify.org

This mythology encyclopedia includes 4,000 or so entries on supreme beings, demons and deities from every culture: Godchecker.com

Political screw-up tweets, even deleted ones, are shown: Politiwoops.com

Illustrators each week take intriguing or funny tweets and turn them into cartoons: Twaggies.com

And lastly, but far from least intriguing:

An amazing and amusing plethora of photos of unusual things, people and happenstances: WhereCoolThingsHappen.com

R. Loeffelbein's LISTS: "How to Foretell the Future"

     Mankind has continually searched for a method of hepatoscopy (foretelling his future), and failed, unfortunately (or fortunately perhaps). My following list shows some of the innovated methods, which have shown some intriguing imagination, however. Take a look.

Astrology: This "science" or "art" was practiced by the ancient Chaldeans and found in the theories of ancient religions. It is based on the signs or omens "seen" in the stars and the constellations they form, which make up the Zodiac. These groups or constellations in the Zodiac were given names taken from mythological lore and their changing patterns were noted to mark the changing seasons. Each pattern was given a "significance". If "properly read" these patterns foretell an individual's or the world's futures.

Bibliomancy: Reading into the future by consulting some book, secular or sacred.
     A common practice for the credulous in divination is to open the Bible and place the index finger at random on the text. The message therein, in case of distress, will suggest a solution. But, if the words have no bearing on the particular distress, the message is unfavorable.
     To ask a question on a doubtful matter open the Bible and note the first word on the left-hand page. If the word has an even number of letters, the answer is "No"., and uneven number of letters, the answer is "Yes".
     An Old English custom is to lay the Bible on the table on New Year's Day and have each member of the family open it at random and read the prediction of things to come for the new year from suggested contents of the two open pages.

Capnomancy: Divination by means of smoke. Smoke ascending dark and dense foretells evil to come; ascending straight and light, the opposite.

Catoptromancy: Divination with the aid of a mirror
     If a child is taken to a mirror before he/she is a year old, the child will have an early death.
     Looking into a mirror by candlelight will bring on bad luck.
     Mirrors and pictures of deceased persons are covered while the corpse lies in state at home to prevent the spirit from seeing itself.

Cledonism: Divination from words "used occasionally", or, sometimes, associated with the movements  of birds.

Cleromancy: Learning the unknown by "casting lots", such as throwing dice, flipping a coin, consulting cards, shaking pebbles or nuts, or saying "magical" words like "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe".

Coscinomancy: Divination through consulting the manner of oscillation or shaking of a suspended "sieve".

Dactiliomancy: Divination using a ring suspended by a string and noting its rotating movements, and its stopping at some marked letters to indicate answers to queries.

Dreams: Dream wandering in confusion portends an impending event. Many specific dreams have been given meanings:
     Whatever one dreams while sleeping under a new blanket or quilt will turn out real.
     Morning dreams go by contraries.
     Told before breakfast, dreams bring bad luck.
     Muddy water - trouble or an impending death.
     Dreaming of a white horse means you will become rich.

Fortune Telling: One's birthday foretells his/her fortune:
     Mondays' child is fair of face.
     Tuesday's child is full of grace.
     Wednesday's child is sorry and sad.
     Thursday's child is merry and glad.
     Friday's child is loving and giving.
     Saturday's child must work for a living.
     But the child born on the Sabbath Day is bonny and merry and glad and gay.

Magic Crystal: The "magic crystal", a kind of divining mirror, may be any size, usually spherical, and turned from pure rock. It offers divination and communication with the "living dead".

Onomancy: Divination of good or ill fortune from the letters of a person's name.

Palmistry: Foretells events, and character, from the shape, fatty tissues (mounds), and lines of the hands, fingers, nails, etc.
     Chirognomy: assessing a person's character on the basis of the shape and general appearance of the hands.
     Chiromancy: Prophecy from indications of the hands.
     Onychomancy" Foretelling on the basis of characteristics of the finger nails.

Phrenology: Character reading from the size and shape of the human skull.    
     Medical anatomist Franz J. Gall developed the theory that the outer surface of the skull corresponded with the contents of the brain, and that regions of the brain were correlated with character traits.

Physiognomy: Popular in the 16th century, this was built upon the theory that bodily characteristics reveal mental characteristics. It was forbidden by the English Parliament  in 1743.

Scapulimancy/omoplatoscopy: Reading the future from the features of an animal's shoulder blade.

 

    

R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "Intriguing Things You May Not Have Heard About"

     Today it is difficult to believe that around the turn of the 20th century people in our government were considering doing away with the patent office because "Everything that could be invented has already been invented".
  That was a silly supposition. Since then even an avid reader finds it impossible to keep up with what's being invented in all areas of our culture. The daily newspaper doesn't even cover much that is newsworthy. Let's look at just a few intriguing items as examples.

FASHION STATEMENT: Elizabeth Esponnette, an assistant professor of product design at the University of Oregon, has made a jacket out of sprouted chia seeds and muslin, a filmy gown from hot glue and water and a cocktail dress composed of alum salt crystals, which actually grew into form. In explanation she stated, "By calling on nature, and making clothing that will biodegrade and become something else, I'm trying to allude to  the need for a circular process in manufacturing, instead of a linear process that ends with things being thrown out."
     She envisions a completely different world where clothing could be made to order on a 3-D printer building items straight from yarn, with no waste. She has proved the technology works, even though she has no products yet. Further, she is working with 3-D printers to come up with ways that a person's bodily measurements could be transferred directly to the printer, ensuring excellent fit and no-seams strength.
(Story courtesy of Oregon Quarterly, winter 2016 issue, written by Rosemary Howe Camozzi.)

FUTURE NEIGHBORHOODS: Residents of the soon-to-be ReGen Village in Amsterdam's outskirts will live in a self-sufficiency closed-loop system, meeting most of its needs, like energy, food and waste management - from within. It will include glass greenhouses for growing its own food, for instance. The project mastermind is California developer James Ehrlich.
     When Copenhagen entrepreneur Kim Loudrup couldn't find affordable student housing for his son, he (along with Danish architect Bjarke Ingels) built a 15-apartment complex on a floating base in the harbor, made from modular shipping containers. They rent for $600 each.
     One of New York City's most popular parks has been built on an abandoned elevated train track. Now James Ramsey and Dan Barasch are spearheading a project to build a $10 million, 60,000 square foot, plant-packed public park 20 feet below the city's traffic-clogged streets. Aluminum and glass super conductors will harness and redirect sunlight  to a distribution point via fibre-optic cables, then a "solar canopy" of aluminum panels will distributes the sun's rays.
(Stories in Fast Company Magazine, Feb. 2017.)

HOMELIKE HOSPITALITY: Innovations can be quite simple, like Airbnb. Brian Chesky took the idea that people would like to stay in private homes during their travels in foreign countries and those homeowners would like the money this would bring them. The company, in ten years, has more than 2 million listings and a valuation of $25.5 billion, making it the largest "hotel" chain in the world. Airbnb collects 15% from every booking from guests and hosts. Chesky is 35 years old and reportedly worth over $3 billion!

PATENTED MOUSE: The oncomouse made both scientific and legal history when it became the first transgenic mammal to be granted a U.S. patent. It helps meet a need for animal models to study  cancer - how it forms and spreads in living tissue - in intact organisms  rather than cell lines in petri dishes. Patent #

CROWD CAPITALISM: Inventors and innovators since 2009 have had a huge advantage over those in earlier generations: crowd funding. That's where an idea for a product or business is floated by an online crowdfunding app and people who are interested in seeing it realized, and perhaps sharing hoped-for largesse, contribute funds. Early apps included Indiegogo, Kickstarter, Rockethub and Quirky.