Virgilius Ferm, in a little book titled 'A Brief Dictionary of American Superstitions" published way back in 1965, took it upon himself to debunk a raft of superstitions and "old wives tales" that had been in the American culture for years.
Probably the most widely spread superstition concerned Friday the 13th, as a sure day for misfortune. People would refrain from undertaking anything of importance, even businesses would postpone concluding deals, others would be suspicious of foods, especially in restaurants, and brides would avoid it as a wedding day.
Ferm reports that a group met on a Friday the 13th sometime around 1946 in a mortuary and, in the spirit of fun, sat around an open coffin upon which stood 13 candles, the purpose being to evidence disregard for the superstition surrounding that specific recurring date.
A later report, on Friday, June 13, 1958, reported that 100 men, and their guests, met in the Chicago Athletic Club to actively defy superstitions associated with Friday the 13ths.The Chicago Daily Tribune duly reported next day that, under the leadership of Ben Regan, the Anti-Superstition Society, composed of "aldermen, judges and leaders of the business and industrial community", including 13 vice-presidents, defied bad luck spells by breaking mirrors, walking under ladders, opening umbrellas inside and fondling black cats.
Actually, the black cat crossing one's path bringing bad luck is only half of that superstition. The second part seems to have been lost, bit it originally stated, "Having a strange black cat make its home with one brings GOOD luck!"
Fridays, in general, have not fared well in the arena of superstition. At one time the day brides selected for their weddings were listed in this order: "Monday for wealth, Tuesday for health, Wednesday the best day of all, Thursday for crosses, FRIDAY FOR LOSSES, and Saturday no luck at all."
There even existed a listing of best days to cut one's fingernails, and Friday was listed under "Cut them with woe".
Likewise, the superstition in northern Wisconsin at one time foretold disaster for anyone starting a new task or starting a journey on a Friday.
And, of course, woe to anyone born on Friday the 13th!
Saturday, July 29, 2017
Friday, July 14, 2017
R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "Surprising What You Can Find Exploring the Web!
Did you know Google processes more than 100 billion search requests worldwide each month, including queries on PCs? And that was a news tidbit from the Associated Press news bureau May 2015, so I don't know what it might be by now.
Another newsy item, from the Daily Mail, reports on a survey of technology consumption in 30 nations. The average viewer, it is reported, spends six hours and 50 minutes a day in front of various devices like smartphones, tablets, TVs and PC monitors. The ten countries with the most consumption are Indonesia, at 9 hours viewing per day, followed by the Philippines, China, Brazil, Vietnam, United States (sixth place at 7.4 hours), Nigeria, Colombia, Thailand and Saudi Arabia.
Personally, I love the surprises I find when I take a few idle moments to search out unusual web sites I hear or read about. Here are some for-instances I thought might also intrigue you readers that I've checked out lately:
Feetz, the first company to offer customized, fully 3-D printed shoes for everyday wear, is set to start selling early next year. According to innovator Lucy Beard the company app will translate photos of customers' feet into virtual 3-D fits. Users then select color and style from among five offerings. Cost? Between $200 and $300 per pair.
These I won't explain. I'll just let you look them up for yourself: 1) Heartless Bitches International (at heartlessbitches.com), 2) The Institute of Official Cheer (at lileks.com/institutel) and The Official Ninja Webpage: Real Ultimate Power (at realultimatepower.net).
Want to organize a village of your own? The Village to Village Network offers guidance at vtvnetwork.org).
If you fear "jumping" tarantulas or "venomous" daddy longlegs spiders, put those myths behind you and upgrade your knowledge by visiting Washington.edu/burkemuseum/spidermyths/index.html.
If a site dedicated to artistic photography of drops, splashes and other liquid action interests you look up http:/www. liquid sculpture.com/index.htm. It even includes a segment titled "Pournography".
The Annals of Improbable Research (www.improbable.com) each year includes staff-selected IgNobel Prizes for those scientists who seem to have plumbed innocuous, or worse, projects.
Which brings us to some of the sites that may be even more useless, like 1) www.manhole.cu/index.php (the history and pictures of manhole covers of the world), 2) Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About (homepage.ntlworld.com/mil.millington/things.html) and the strangest site of all at yil.com/strange.
Another newsy item, from the Daily Mail, reports on a survey of technology consumption in 30 nations. The average viewer, it is reported, spends six hours and 50 minutes a day in front of various devices like smartphones, tablets, TVs and PC monitors. The ten countries with the most consumption are Indonesia, at 9 hours viewing per day, followed by the Philippines, China, Brazil, Vietnam, United States (sixth place at 7.4 hours), Nigeria, Colombia, Thailand and Saudi Arabia.
Personally, I love the surprises I find when I take a few idle moments to search out unusual web sites I hear or read about. Here are some for-instances I thought might also intrigue you readers that I've checked out lately:
Feetz, the first company to offer customized, fully 3-D printed shoes for everyday wear, is set to start selling early next year. According to innovator Lucy Beard the company app will translate photos of customers' feet into virtual 3-D fits. Users then select color and style from among five offerings. Cost? Between $200 and $300 per pair.
These I won't explain. I'll just let you look them up for yourself: 1) Heartless Bitches International (at heartlessbitches.com), 2) The Institute of Official Cheer (at lileks.com/institutel) and The Official Ninja Webpage: Real Ultimate Power (at realultimatepower.net).
Want to organize a village of your own? The Village to Village Network offers guidance at vtvnetwork.org).
If you fear "jumping" tarantulas or "venomous" daddy longlegs spiders, put those myths behind you and upgrade your knowledge by visiting Washington.edu/burkemuseum/spidermyths/index.html.
If a site dedicated to artistic photography of drops, splashes and other liquid action interests you look up http:/www. liquid sculpture.com/index.htm. It even includes a segment titled "Pournography".
The Annals of Improbable Research (www.improbable.com) each year includes staff-selected IgNobel Prizes for those scientists who seem to have plumbed innocuous, or worse, projects.
Which brings us to some of the sites that may be even more useless, like 1) www.manhole.cu/index.php (the history and pictures of manhole covers of the world), 2) Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About (homepage.ntlworld.com/mil.millington/things.html) and the strangest site of all at yil.com/strange.
R. Loeffelbein's Whatchama Column: "Best Jokes I've Heard This Month"
I really can't explain why I selected these particular five from the many I've heard recently, but each one brings a smile to my face every time I read it. Maybe it's because each has a tie-in to actuality in my life. Anyhow, judge them for yourself.
(My sister and I have never gotten along. That's probably why I liked this one. I'll play her third husband in this story.)
Satan appeared during church service where I was attending and everyone started screaming and running for the exits, trampling each other in their haste to vacate the premises. When everyone was gone I alone remained, gazing speculatively at the gate crasher.
Satan made a surprised face and floated across the room to stand menacingly over me. "Don't you know who I am?" he demanded in his windows-shaking voice.
"Sure do," I admitted.
"And you aren't afraid of me," he asked, obviously not understanding this first for him.
"You forget, I've been married to your sister for ten years," I reminded him.
------------------------------
(When I read this one it brought back slapstick visions of the broom "the sorcerer's apprentice" put a spell on in the Mickey Mouse film so-titled. You have to have seen it to really appreciate this joke.)
Two unacquainted brooms being worked in unison to clean up a large spill in a restaurant look appraisingly at each other and one says, " We do good work. Why don't we get married and go into business for ourselves?"
They agree, but at the marriage ceremony the bride broom says to the groom broom, "I think I'm going to have a whisk!"
The groom broom, in askance, asks, "How can that be? We haven't even swept together yet."
-------------------------------------
(Anyone who has traveled in New Mexico, or any other state where Indian reservations are prominent along the roadways, will understand this one, especially if you are an Easterner who still thinks the West is wild and wooly.)
Back home in an Eastern city this person was relating his harrowing vacation experience in the wild, wild West.to a neighbor. "There were Indians to the right of me, Indians to the left, and all closing in on me. I couldn't get away. It was terrible."
"So what did you do to escape? asks the enthralled neighbor.
"What else could I do? I bought a blanket."
---------------------------------------
(I've always loved and kept dogs; my sister has always had a cat or two. I've never understood what she sees in cats. So this is an odd story for me to be telling, I guess. But it still tickles my fancy.)
This man hated his wife's cat, so, fed up with it, one day, he drove it to a large park and left it there. When he returned home, however, the cat walked up the driveway to greet him.
The next day he drove the cat to another town a few miles distant and again sped away without it. Arriving home, though, he found the cat asleep in his easy chair.
In exasperation, he drove the cat 20 miles, down some barely perceptible roadways, over a mountain, into a valley with a thick brush and tree cover and dumped the cat again.
Hours later his wife answered his phone call.
"Is your cat there?" he asked.
"Yes. Why?" she wanted to know.
"I'm lost. And I need the cat to give me directions home!"
-------------------------------------------
(With the advent of summer and mass college graduations a whole new flock of young people have started looking for jobs. Their expectations often aren't realized. There is even humor in that.)
The human resources officer, reaching the end of a job interview with a young "engineer", queries the young graduate: "And what starting salary are you looking for?"
"In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package," the young man replies.
"Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full dental and medical, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say a red Corvette?" was his surprising rejoinder.
With wide eyes and a big smile, the young would-be engineer exclaims, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
To which the interviewer replies, "Of course. But you started it."\
********
Thursday, April 13, 2017
R.Loeffelbein's OFFBEAT GOLF COLUMN: "Paper and Pencil Golf"
Golf addicts often find time on their hands, like waiting out the weather in a hotel room, trapped in an airport lounge or even awaiting call to tee off. As a former community recreation director I was often called upon to innovate new games for waste-times like these. I did a three-handed pinochle game once and now I have a paper-and-pencil golf game for players who can't get onto the golf course.
The game's tools are simple: five dice and an unused score card, or any piece of paper that can be marked up to simulate one, and a pencil or pen. Roll the five dice for high count to determine players' order of play.
A game consists of 18 turns for each player, one turn per hole. Lowest total for 18 holes is the winner.
Two different methods are used to score, one applying to holes 1 through 6 and the other for 7 through 18.
Holes 1 through 6 cannot be scored until the dice have been rolled enough times so the number of the hole has shown on three of them. At each roll the number 1's can be held out from following rolls until three of them have been rolled. The number of rolls it takes to get three 1's is the roller's score for that hole. If it takes five rolls, you score a five for that hole.
This same process goes on for holes 2 through 6.
Holes 7 through 18 are scored by counting the number of rolls needed for the dice to show the number of the hole being played. For example, to hole out number 7 you could roll a 6 and a 1 on the first roll, for a birdie, or two 2's on the first roll and a 3 on the second roll, for a score of 2, etc. If a 7 total is not reached in ten rolls, mark a 10 as your score for that hole and pass the dice to the next player..
Players may roll for any hole not already played during each turn, and do not have to tell the other players what hole they are playing until all rolls have been completed. However, the scores they make must be marked in the correct spots for a given hole on a given turn. For example, if the player ends up claiming a nine on four rolls, his score of 4 must be placed for the #9 hole. Limit again is 10 rolls. Add up scores for 18 holes. Low count wins.
Now, if this is too complicated for anyone, I suggest they skip the game and go straight to the 19th hole!
The game's tools are simple: five dice and an unused score card, or any piece of paper that can be marked up to simulate one, and a pencil or pen. Roll the five dice for high count to determine players' order of play.
A game consists of 18 turns for each player, one turn per hole. Lowest total for 18 holes is the winner.
Two different methods are used to score, one applying to holes 1 through 6 and the other for 7 through 18.
Holes 1 through 6 cannot be scored until the dice have been rolled enough times so the number of the hole has shown on three of them. At each roll the number 1's can be held out from following rolls until three of them have been rolled. The number of rolls it takes to get three 1's is the roller's score for that hole. If it takes five rolls, you score a five for that hole.
This same process goes on for holes 2 through 6.
Holes 7 through 18 are scored by counting the number of rolls needed for the dice to show the number of the hole being played. For example, to hole out number 7 you could roll a 6 and a 1 on the first roll, for a birdie, or two 2's on the first roll and a 3 on the second roll, for a score of 2, etc. If a 7 total is not reached in ten rolls, mark a 10 as your score for that hole and pass the dice to the next player..
Players may roll for any hole not already played during each turn, and do not have to tell the other players what hole they are playing until all rolls have been completed. However, the scores they make must be marked in the correct spots for a given hole on a given turn. For example, if the player ends up claiming a nine on four rolls, his score of 4 must be placed for the #9 hole. Limit again is 10 rolls. Add up scores for 18 holes. Low count wins.
Now, if this is too complicated for anyone, I suggest they skip the game and go straight to the 19th hole!
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "Did You Really Think the Dumb Blonde Jokes Were Dead?"
The man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jumping across the road in front of his car. He swerves to avoid hitting it but, as rabbits are prone to do, it reverses right in front of the car and is hit.
The driver, a sensitive man and an animal lover, stops the car and pulls over to see what has happened to the rabbit. To his dismay, the rabbit is clearly dead. The driver tears up he feels so bad about this accident.
A beautiful blonde woman, driving down the same road, sees the man's tearful demeanor and pulls her car over, steps out and asks him what is wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explains. "I couldn't avoid hitting this rabbit," which he indicates by pointing.
"Don't worry," the blonde tells him before running to her car and pulling out a spray can. Then she walks over to the limp body of the rabbit, bends down and sprays it.
The rabbit jumps up, waves a paw at the two of them and hops on down the highway. When it is ten feet away it stops, turns around and waves again. Hopping down the road another ten feet, he stops, turns and waves again. It repeats this sequence again and again until it's out of sight.
The man is tanding there, astonished. He asks the blonde, "What the heck is in that can?"
The blonde turns the can so he can read the label, "Hair Spray. Restores life to dead hair and adds a permanent wave."
April Foolish!
The driver, a sensitive man and an animal lover, stops the car and pulls over to see what has happened to the rabbit. To his dismay, the rabbit is clearly dead. The driver tears up he feels so bad about this accident.
A beautiful blonde woman, driving down the same road, sees the man's tearful demeanor and pulls her car over, steps out and asks him what is wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explains. "I couldn't avoid hitting this rabbit," which he indicates by pointing.
"Don't worry," the blonde tells him before running to her car and pulling out a spray can. Then she walks over to the limp body of the rabbit, bends down and sprays it.
The rabbit jumps up, waves a paw at the two of them and hops on down the highway. When it is ten feet away it stops, turns around and waves again. Hopping down the road another ten feet, he stops, turns and waves again. It repeats this sequence again and again until it's out of sight.
The man is tanding there, astonished. He asks the blonde, "What the heck is in that can?"
The blonde turns the can so he can read the label, "Hair Spray. Restores life to dead hair and adds a permanent wave."
April Foolish!
-----------------
Monday, April 10, 2017
R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "Classic April Fools"
The only April Fools I saw this year was on TV's America's Home Videos. Is this an annual hi-jinks that has gone passe on us? That would be a total shame.
At 92 I can still remember the first one my 9-year old buddy and I pulled. I'm sure you won't think much of it, but, at the time, we had a great laugh at how clever we were. We phoned a neighborhood grocery where our families shopped and we knew the owner and his clerks. We asked the phone answerer, "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" He answered, "Of course." And we gave him the zinger, "Well, let him out now." And we hung up and giggled wildly at the supposed consternation at the other end of the phone.
Today this probably needs more explanation. You see, Prince Albert was - and still may be, for all I know - a popular pipe tobacco marketed in pocket-fitting tin canisters..
The end of this story played out differently from what we expected, though. Next time in the store the clerk told me had recognized my voice and, already having heard this same April foolishness several times that day as well as on previous April Fool's Days, he just went along with it so callers like us wouldn't be disappointed.
Reader's Digest helped curb my disappointment in this lack this year. The magazine printed four classic April Fool gags from past years, all showing fine imagination, as well as the fact that a great many people are still pretty darn gullible.
The magazine printed one of my all-time favorites, one I used in a column way back in 1997. Burger King had a big ad published about the new Whopper they were featuring, designed especially for left-handers. And the BK shops nationwide sold thousands of them! A straight-faced explanation of the difference to me was, "We've rotated the ingredients 180 degrees."
My favorite from the previous year was taken so seriously that angry constituents actually forced then-Senator Edward Kennedy's office to officially deny the rumor that he was sponsoring a bill "to ban drinking while using the Internet".
In year 2000 it was the British tabloid, the Daily Mail, that had the classic. The extolled a line of socks that "sucked body fat out of sweating feet", with this excess fat stored within the material so exercisers could then just dispose of the sox and fat.
But the gag that showed the true gullibility of the populace came from the Swiss Tourism Board in 2000. They reported that members of the Swiss Association of Mountain Climbers scaled their Alps regularly to scrub and polish them. A video allegedly showing the cleaners at work was so popular that scores of people took the online test to see if they qualified to join the cleaning team!
At 92 I can still remember the first one my 9-year old buddy and I pulled. I'm sure you won't think much of it, but, at the time, we had a great laugh at how clever we were. We phoned a neighborhood grocery where our families shopped and we knew the owner and his clerks. We asked the phone answerer, "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" He answered, "Of course." And we gave him the zinger, "Well, let him out now." And we hung up and giggled wildly at the supposed consternation at the other end of the phone.
Today this probably needs more explanation. You see, Prince Albert was - and still may be, for all I know - a popular pipe tobacco marketed in pocket-fitting tin canisters..
The end of this story played out differently from what we expected, though. Next time in the store the clerk told me had recognized my voice and, already having heard this same April foolishness several times that day as well as on previous April Fool's Days, he just went along with it so callers like us wouldn't be disappointed.
Reader's Digest helped curb my disappointment in this lack this year. The magazine printed four classic April Fool gags from past years, all showing fine imagination, as well as the fact that a great many people are still pretty darn gullible.
The magazine printed one of my all-time favorites, one I used in a column way back in 1997. Burger King had a big ad published about the new Whopper they were featuring, designed especially for left-handers. And the BK shops nationwide sold thousands of them! A straight-faced explanation of the difference to me was, "We've rotated the ingredients 180 degrees."
My favorite from the previous year was taken so seriously that angry constituents actually forced then-Senator Edward Kennedy's office to officially deny the rumor that he was sponsoring a bill "to ban drinking while using the Internet".
In year 2000 it was the British tabloid, the Daily Mail, that had the classic. The extolled a line of socks that "sucked body fat out of sweating feet", with this excess fat stored within the material so exercisers could then just dispose of the sox and fat.
But the gag that showed the true gullibility of the populace came from the Swiss Tourism Board in 2000. They reported that members of the Swiss Association of Mountain Climbers scaled their Alps regularly to scrub and polish them. A video allegedly showing the cleaners at work was so popular that scores of people took the online test to see if they qualified to join the cleaning team!
Thursday, March 16, 2017
R. Loeffelbein's WHATCHAMA COLUMN: "Golf Is A Four-Letter Word!"
Golf is fun if you don't take it too seriously. I don't. I pretty much play with a 2 wood, a 7 iron and a putter, which proves I don't. Luckily, I have duffer friends who don't care that no serious golfers will play with us.
Over time I have formed some thoughts on the sport that I will share, in case any reader should be considering embarking on golfing as a hobby or a healthful activity.
The sport is 10% mental and 90% temper-mental. It's not something you can play in revenge to get even with!
A golf game is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
Counting on an opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own manhood.
If you really want to become a better player, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
Any change in your stroke or approach may work for three holes, or a minimum of none at all.
Don't try to keep all 230 instructions you've had in your mind during your swing.
If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
The less skilled a player is, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing with you.
Nonchalant putts count the same as 'chalant putts.
It's not a "gimme" if you are still "away".
It's surprisingly easy to hole a 40-foot putt when you already lie 8.
When you look up, causing a terrible shot, you will always look down and cuss at exactly the moment you should be watching the ball, if you ever want to see it again.
The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course will be a straight line passing directly through a very large and leafy tree.
You can hit a two-acre fairway 10% of the time,,,and hit a two-inch branch 90% of the time.
The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all your many other bad habits.
No matter how badly you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
Over time I have formed some thoughts on the sport that I will share, in case any reader should be considering embarking on golfing as a hobby or a healthful activity.
The sport is 10% mental and 90% temper-mental. It's not something you can play in revenge to get even with!
A golf game is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
Counting on an opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own manhood.
If you really want to become a better player, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
Any change in your stroke or approach may work for three holes, or a minimum of none at all.
Don't try to keep all 230 instructions you've had in your mind during your swing.
If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
The less skilled a player is, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing with you.
Nonchalant putts count the same as 'chalant putts.
It's not a "gimme" if you are still "away".
It's surprisingly easy to hole a 40-foot putt when you already lie 8.
When you look up, causing a terrible shot, you will always look down and cuss at exactly the moment you should be watching the ball, if you ever want to see it again.
The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course will be a straight line passing directly through a very large and leafy tree.
You can hit a two-acre fairway 10% of the time,,,and hit a two-inch branch 90% of the time.
The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all your many other bad habits.
No matter how badly you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
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