R. Loeffelbein's DOG BLOG: ""I Want To Talk About Sex>"Sex."

     When I went to City Hall to renew my dog's license, I told the clerk I wanted a license for Sex.           He said, "I'd like one one of those too!"
     Then I said, "But this is a dog."
     He said he didn't care what she looked like and stood there with a grin on his face.
     "No. You don't understand," I tried to explain. "I've had Sex since I was nine years old!"
     He winked at me and said, "You must have been quite a kid!"
     "When I got married, and went on my honeymoon, I took my dog with me. I told the clerk I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He told me I didn't need a special room for sex, that he didn't care what we did as long as we paid our bill.'
     "I tried to explain to him that the problem was that Sex kept me awake at night."
     The clerk grinned and replied, "Funny, but I have that same problem!" But he assigned us an other room.
     Next day I entered Sex in a show being held in town. But during his morning run he got loose and last seen was chasing a squirrel across a street full of traffic. I was left standing, undecided what to do. Another contestant asked me why I was looking so angry. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the show.
     "Wow," he exclaims. If you sell tickets, you ought to clean up!"
     "But you don;t understand," I added, "I want to have Sex on TV."
     "I don't see you as the type," he replies. "Besides, that's no big deal anymore. They already have a lot of that on Cable."
     My wife didn't understand all the time I spent with my dog so, eventually we seperated. We went to court, where I made sure to announce i wanted custody. I told the judge, 'Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married."
     "The court is not a confessional," he replied."Please stick to the facts of the case."
     "But my wife didn't even care when Sex left me," I added. "When Sex left me again last night I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop stopped me and asked what I was doing in an alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I told him I was just looking for Sex."
     My case comes up Friday.

(This was reprinted by request in Dear Abby's column, but this slightly revised version is offered here for all you readers who missed it both times. I hope you're happy I've savored it for you!)