From the Mouths of Babes

     I did a stint as a teacher and it always amazed me what came out of the mouths of these babes.
     Take the youngster who had spent the week before Christmas studying Christmas cards.  "Don't men ever go to Heaven?" she asked.
     "Of course," I assured her. "Why?"
     "Because I never see any angels with whiskers on these cards."
     Thinking fast, my female teaching assistant replied, "That's because men who do go to heaven get there by a close shave."
     Logic would not have been half as good an answer.
     Logic, in adult-posted signs, is often lost on kids too. Like my sister's youngster who, in seeing a sign in a store proclaiming, "Watch Batteries Installed -$5", asked, "Who would pay to watch batteries installed?"
     "Charistmas' is often kicked off in our community by Santa arriving at the town square riding a fire engine. But what engaged three youngsters standing near me was the Dalmation dog sitting on the front seat of the engine. They began discussing what his duties might be.
     "They use him to keep the crowds back," guessed one.
     "No, he's just for good luck, voiced another.
     "No, they use the dogs," the third child said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
     The fire truck also visits schools to hype fire safety programs and one teacher themed a class lesson on duties of firemen. One student thought the main job was rescuing people. The teacher asked him to put that job into a proper sentence.
     "The fireman came back down the ladder pregnant," was his effort.
     Somewhat nonplussed, the teacher asked if he knew what 'pregnant' meant.
     "Sure," returned the boy, it means 'carrying a child'."
     Puberty is another word that puzzles kids. When my sister's girl asked her what it meant, sis told her to look it up and then they would talk about it. Upon her return she announced, "Puberty si the earliest age at which a girl is able to bear children".
     So what do you think about that?" asked sis.
     "I'm not sure," her daughter replied. "I've always been able to bear children. It's adults I can't bear!"
     The problem of which comes first, Christmas or New Year's Day, seems to perplex some kids. One I heard resolved it this way: "Christmas just barely sneaks in the nick of time before every new year. We try to hurry it up along about Halloween."
     Another input reported, "I observed New Year's Day last year and what I observed was that New Year's Day comes quite late at night."
     The group's final comment was, "A good reason for New Year's Eve is to tell the year to get ready to end. When a year or anything else gets to a good ending place, it should know enough to stop there and end."
     The group also discussed New Year's resolutions. The one I remember best was stated this way: I resolved to always be honest because it is more important to be honest than rich and famous and happy." As he thought about that, he added, "Or at least any one of these...by itself...in most cases."