Who Writes Your Stuff, Rev?

     A person's religion, ordinarily, is no joking matter, but most pastors and other holy men are really pixies at heart, if we can judge from the following "signs" of religion posted at churches throughout the country. The churchman's philosophy, in fact, might be summed up in a short verse found on the wall of the Chester Cathedral in England:

"Give me some humor, Lord.

Give me the grace to see a joke,

To get some happiness in life,

And pass it on to other folk."

     For illustration, take some of the signs posted by the pastor of the North Hollywood Christian Church. "Come in and get your faith lifted," stated one. "Are you praying more and enjoying it less?" asked another. Life is fragile; handle with prayer," admonished another.

     In Oklahoma City was seen: "When in doubt, faith it!" In New York: Please come in and do an about faith." In Greendale, WI: "First come, first saved." 

     Tongue-in-cheek postings at other churches gently reminded parishioners of attendance lapses: "Visitors welcomed. Members expected" was the way a Clayton, IN, church did it. "Trespassers welcome" was the Bethany Lutheran of Ocean Bay way. And a Dolton, IL, one sported a large color-lighted sign one summer reading simply: "His Place". And, finally, a church bulletin board in Grand Rapids, MI, relayed the message: "We are open between Easter and Christmas," which, we suspect, meant much the same thing.

     Seasonal specials have fronted a Buffalo, NY, church: "Stop here for your holiday spirits" and later: "All new sermons - No summer reruns!"

     Occasionally pastors find more public platforms from which to get their messages across. For example, many newspaper columnists have found odd signs make good copy. One classic exchange happened when a Washington, DC Post writer mentioned that that year was blessed with three Fridays the 13th. A clergyman, upon reading this, immediately telephoned to remind him that there were also 53 Sundays that year.

     Some clergymen prefer to take a more direct line, like: "Try one of our Sundays" , fronting a Clarkston, WA, tabernacle, or "The competition is terrific, but we're still open on Sundays" in front of a Nebraska church, or "We reserve the right to accept everybody" on the bulletin board of a New Jersey church.

     Reverend John Lindsay of the Community Baptist Church of Medford, MA, was one of this more practical group too. In large type on his outdoor bulletin board he pleaded, "Wanted. Pew fillers. Apply Sunday 10:30 a.m." And attendance duly increased, so it evidently is true that it pays to advertise. Even if the ad is obfuscated a bit, like this one in the bulletin of a St. Louis, MO, church: "The acoustical properties of our sanctuary have been analyzed by our audio engineers and found to be needing more persons in the pews to absorb the reflected sound waves." Same message. Just took longer to say it.