HIS AND HERS

     Teen agers often like to have his' and her's matching this or that, like matching bracelets with each others names on them, or matching T-shirts with her wearing one labeled "His" and him wearing one labeled "Hers" and so on. But recently I read about this cute practice being turned up a notch. A Manhattan designer named Ben Kahn was offering matching "his" and "hers" fur coats in Nutria or Black Seal for $2,000 each. Topping that, Nieman-Marcus of Dallas featured his and hers bathtubs, at $4,000 each, and black willow Minks at $50,000 each. There were, regretfully, "Sold out" signs on other models costing $75,000.
     These examples haven't exactly started a trend, but there have been a number of other unusual his-and-hers items noted in the media...enough to see that the theme has caught onto the public fancy. For example, in Lawndale, Maryland, a car was noted with the names of opposing political candidates on opposite sides of the rear bumper. One candidate had "His", the other "Hers", under them.
    Another report had a European made station wagon with flag decals on the side windows. One side sported an Irish one marked "His" and the other side had a French one marked "Hers". Awhile later the reporter noted the addition of  American flag decals alongside them. It seems the owners had become American citizens.
    In Malibu, California, there were a pair of Cadillacs noted with license plates "His" and "Hers". "He" got the special plates after she garnered a dented fender on "hers". A Portsmouth couple, with matched Porsches, smilingly reported he parks his in front of their house and she parks hers in back, giving them both "a front Porsche and a back Porsche".
     Where but in Southern California would you find his and hers auto accidents? The wife comes home distraught and relates to her husband that a car banged into her from behind at a stop sign. Then he tells her he had his car banged into also, while waiting for a car ahead to make a left turn. Discussion turned up the fact that both accidents happened at 4 PM. at intersections of Beverly Boulevard.
     In Bismarck, ND, a home-planning husband devised what he considered a realistic garage. On one door of the double garage he painted "His" and on the other, which was two feet wider, he painted "Hers".
     Then there was the bachelor apartment sporting a pair of towels racked in the bathroom labeled "His" and "To Whom It May Concern". While, in another household, with kids, were three towel racks. One was "His", a really clean, neat one was "Hers" and a scruffy, dirty one was "Theirs". Another household with kids also had three towel holders: "His", "Hers" and a huge bath towel labeled "Little League". Next to these was one more rack- holding a fancy embroidered towel - labeled "Hands off", for guests, of course. Adding a bit of humor was the politician who threatened to put up towels in the State House loo labeled "Hems" and "
Haws".
     The bedroom of a model home in Bayside, NY reportedly had three closets, on which the male realtor had attached temporary signs stating: "His", "Hers" and "Probably hers also".
     Behind a duplex, where a young male lived in one half and a young female lived in the other half, there were two trash cans. The male, embarrassed by garbage men jibes about all the feminine product packages in their garbage, painted "His" on his can. She, no less embarrassed by all the booze bottles and beer cans in his, then painted "Hers" on hers.
     Perhaps the cleverest advertising clone was the magazine subscription company hyping two-subscriptions for the price of one - His and Her magazine choices. But the most useful item of all has to be the Party Blanket sold by Collegiate Hall of Warren, Ohio. The blanket is ideal for everything from beach parties to the big game, with two quilted triple pockets for keeping hands warm and stowing bottles of good cheer. Available with either "Jack" and "Jill" or "His" and "Hers" embroidered on the twin pockets.
     Varied entrepreneurs at various times have jumped onto the his-and-hers merchandising gimmick with gusto. A hair stylist in Los Angeles was touting his and hers curlers for sale. A Bucks County, Pennsylvania man named Don Kooker started marketing his and hers walking sticks in 1967, hand crafted from highly polished walnut, topped with a sterling disk bearing the Kooker coat of arms and with buyers initials included: $45. The Wanderlust and Woodland Nymph sticks measured 37, 34 or 31 inches in length, while the He-Man Staff, the Stallion Stick and the Sire's Scepter measured.46, 43 and 40 inches respectively. Eventually they were selling in U.S. stores like Saks Fifth Avenue, Neiman-Marcus and Abercrombie & Fitch and one was bought by none other than noted walker Queen Mum Elizabeth of England.
     The Industrial Savings Bank of Flint, Michigan, some years back, introduced his and hers bank vaults. According to ads the 432-square feet "hers" vault was suitable for "gems, silver and gold, stocks, cash and other personal mementos". The 1,054-square feet "his" was suitable for storing small personal collections of "art, antique automobiles, firearms and cash". Just the thing for pre-nup couples.
     Not every merchandising brainstorm works, of course. Firestone once (in the 1960s) toyed with the idea of auto tires with flowered sidewalls. Tires for men would feature a wide, bold tread, while those for women would be fashioned with colored studs in the tread and a flowery sidewall stripe. Never got out of the experimental stage, though.
     Another failure was the Italian Fiat Vanessa 850 prototype auto in 1966. It featured violet interiors, a turntable driver's seat for easy entrance and exit, an elegant cosmetics bag within easy reach, along with a multitude of practical features, like safety belts for children, a rear window designed to open so a shopper could remove groceries easily from the back seat, and the trunk divided into various storage compartments. Men didn't go for the violet boudoir look and, as it turned out, women did not especially want an "exclusively feminine" car.
     I would be lax if I didn't mention that other his-and-hers pairing necessary in every booze palace. The Onaway Bar in Washington, owned by a fancier of bird dog, has its toilets labeled "Pointers" and "Setters". He says some people will stand and look at those doors for five minutes before they figure out which one to open.
     When the newer Atlanta Braves baseball stadium construction was not quite complete by opening night, temporary signs,  "Braves" and "Squaws", were mounted on toilets.Complaints were numerous. Not as numerous as the quizzical queries arising at a Bedfordshire, England factory being built that had three similar doors in a hallway marked "Ladies", "Gentlemen" and , between them, one labeled "Experimental".