Out of the Mouths of Babes...

     Out of the mouths of youngsters come some of the most embarrassing remarks their parents ever made.
     Youngsterisms can also be surprisingly logical with their answers. Like the six-year old, lost in a supermarket and hollering "Martha! Martha!" at top lung power. He was chided by his mother, after they were reunited, that he shouldn't call her Martha, but Mother." His reply, "I know, but this store is FULLA mothers!"
     Or the moppet lunching off a place mat featuring the nursery rhyme Hey Diddle Diddle, where he gazed with solemn eyes at the Mother Goose scene of the cow jumping over the moon. Pretty soon he turned to his mother and said, "Isn't that silly? It would take at least a three-stage rocket to reach the moon."
     Or the little girl in the toy shop when a clerk showed her an elaborate doll. "Now this model walks, talks, cries and drinks," rhapsodied the clerk. "Oh, I have a baby sister who does all that," the tot replied scornfully, "I just want a doll."
     Another little girl, attending her first auto show with her dad, watched in wonder as a new Pontiac revolved slowly under very bright spotlights. "Daddy, LOOK! They're barbecuing a car."
     I reminded a young neighbor boy he had forgotten his sweater, laying on a porch swing, when he started to leave after visiting with me. "Yeah," he answered, "that's just something I have to put on when my mom gets chilly."
     That's the same kid who explained the age of a new neighbor to me this way, "He's so little he isn't even a number yet." And, in arguing with his little sister, ended that tiff with, "Your brain is just like a Teflon frying pan. Nothing will stick to it."
     Just as bright was the comment of a four-year-old upon arising shortly before dawn with his mother, who was tending her new baby. "Mommy, Jesus has turned on the lights."
     Then there was the family that lent its pet hamster to a neighbor to mate with his female, with the result being seven new hamsters. The neighbor thought this a good time to acquaint his nine-year-old son with the tale of the birds and bees. "Son, you probably have some questions about the hamsters and their new babies," he said as introduction. "Yes, I do," the boy replied. "Can I charge a stud fee?"
     Even five-year-olds can be practical like that. Overheard in a department store was this moppet studying the escalator. "What do they do when the basement gets full of steps?" she asked.
     Which puts an exclamation point on Herbert V. Prochnow's statement, "If children didn't ask questions, how could they find out that we know so little?"
 
(Credit, in order, La Vida Witkowski, The United Mine Workers Journal, Mrs. L. Binder in the Catholic Digest, San Diego Union, Mary L. Cotton of Memphis, TN, Minneapolis Tribune Almanac, Unkn own,