...the bird outside your bedroom window, that woke you up, is a vulture.
...your bed companion rolls over and asks. "Who are you?"
...you put your bra accidentally on backwards...and it still fits.
...You turn to put on the rest of your clothes and there aren't any.
...You turn to put on the rest of your clothes and there aren't any.
...you absent-mindedly try to fit both contact lenses into the same eye.
...your pet rock sneers at you in the mirror as you are putting on your makeup.
...you make a donation for the Red Cross while shaving.
...your car horn gets stuck on the way to work, while driving behind a group of Hell's Angels bikers.
..you find the TV crew from "60 Minutes" waiting outside your office.
...you get to work only to have a co-worker tell you the hem of your dress is tucked into the back of your pantyhose.
...your boss tells you not to bother to take off your hat.
...your boss tells you not to bother to take off your hat.
...your e-mail includes a notice your Internal Revenue payment check has bounced.
...you call your answering service and they don't answer.
...you call your twin sister and find she has forgotten your birthday.
...the frosting on the birthday cake your co-workers have arranged for melts from the heat of all those candles.
...you call the number a friend has given you for a blind date and it turns out to be your ex.
...you call the Suicide Prevention Hotline and they put you on hold.
...you call the Suicide Prevention Hotline and they put you on hold.
...you turn on the TV news to find they are showing emergency routes out of the city.
And so you decide you have nothing more to lose by leaving, no matter what the emergency is!
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