A very elderly gentleman (let's say mid-90s), very spffily dressed, sparse hair well groomed, wearing a great looking suit with a flower in the lapel, smelling slightly of a good after-shave, all in all presenting a well-looked-after image, saunters into an upscale cocktail lounge.
Seated at the bar is an elderly appearing lady (guessed at mid-80s), also well-coifed and well dressed. The gentleman walks over and sits alongside her, orders his drink, takes a trial sip, turns to her and asks, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
An older gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to an audioologist who was able to fit him for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%. When he went back for his one-month checkup, the doc told him, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be very pleased that you can hear so well again."
The gentleman, with a sly grin, replied, "Oh, I haven['t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times."
Two older gentlemen were sitting on a bench under a tree at the retirement center commiserating with one another. One says, "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim thinks a minute, then replies, "I feel just like a new-born baby! Yep, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
An older couple finished dinner at another older couple's home. The wives cleaned up the dishes and went into the kitchen, leaving the two gentlemen to talk over cigars. One announced, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it turned out really great. I would highly recommend it."
"What's it's name?" asked the other.
The first man thought a bit and finally said, "What's the name of the flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"That's it." And he turns toward the kitchen and yells, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair be used for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman - already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet - who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he answered. She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
You DID smile, didn't ;you?
